


colors of love

by Fiery_Keys



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Canon Divergence-Season 2, F/M, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-10
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-05-20 12:19:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 26,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14894523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fiery_Keys/pseuds/Fiery_Keys
Summary: A myriad of colors dance across her vision. It stops as soon as it starts, and then all she can see a deep, stormy shade of blue.It’s the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen.It’s also the color of his eyes.Damnit!A CS soulmates!au.





	1. Chapter 1

** colors of love **

** chapter one **

****

_Summary: A myriad of colors dance across her vision. It stops as soon as it starts, and then all she can see a deep, stormy shade of blue._

_It’s the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen._

_It’s also the color of his eyes._

_Damnit!_

**_A CS soulmates!au._ **

* * *

About two years before the Dark Curse hit and about a year and a half before his alignment with Cora, Killian Jones met his soulmate.

 Meeting your soulmate is supposed to be magical, literally. Everybody saw the world in black and white, only when they met their soulmate, did the world burst into color. _That_ was when they began to see clearly for the first time.

 Too bad Killian couldn’t remember a second of it.

 It was really one of the strangest things that had ever happened to him. He woke up one morning, with a bruised jaw, a killer hangover, lying on the floor of his cabin and…..he could see colors.

 Killian couldn’t remember anything, try as he might. All he remembered was going to the tavern after he and his crew had weighed anchor at the docks and everything was black from there.

 There were only bits of memory he could grasp-musical laughter, bright gold and a taste of cinnamon and vanilla that lingered on his lips. Killian felt- _knew_ that he had forgotten something incredibly important, something beyond meeting his soulmate, and he couldn’t understand it, because nothing could be more important than getting his revenge on Rumplestilkskin.

 Eventually, he gave up on remembering. If the lass he had met didn’t care enough to come find him, it really didn’t matter. _Killian_ certainly didn’t care. Milah may not have been his soulmate, but Killian had still loved her with every beat of his heart. And he _would_ get revenge on the Dark One for ripping her away from him if it was the last thing he did. (It probably would be.)

 He couldn’t afford to have any distractions. Even if it meant never finding his soulmate.

 (There are times when he _just_ can’t stop thinking about it, though.)

 

* * *

 

Emma Swan doesn’t believe in soulmates.

 Well she used to, when she was a child and still in the foster system. She used to dream of looking into that one person’s eyes and seeing the world in color for the first time. To someone who’d never been loved or cared for, having a soulmate sounded like a dream come true.

 Emma heard the stories, too. There were the two kids in her class who bumped into each other on the first day of school, stared at each other in dazed wonder; and then promptly declared that they were soulmates. There was the girl in the system who claimed she had seen her soulmate as a baby and could now see colors. There were hundreds of these stories and Emma eagerly listened, and hoped and believed.

 Then she met Neal Cassidy and everything changed.

 Falling in love with him was easy and felt so _right_ that Emma didn’t think it mattered if they weren’t soulmates. She naively believed that their love could defy the laws of nature and that they didn’t need their respective soulmates as long as they had each other.

 They survived on the streets, stealing from convenience stores and sleeping in the back of their cramped car. It wasn’t an easy life, but they were together, so it didn’t matter.

 Until one day, Neal set her up for his own crime and left her in jail, pregnant and broken.

 The day she gave up her baby for adoption, she closed off her heart and resolved to never, _never_ trust anyone again.

 Emma Swan doesn’t believe in soulmates.

 Or, to be exact, she doesn’t believe that there’s anyone out there who will ever truly love her like all the stories claim, because at the end of the day, she’s still a little lost girl; incapable of loving and incapable of being loved.

 

* * *

 

 Eleven years later, on her twenty eighth birthday, Emma blows out a candle, squeezes her eyes shut and makes a wish.

 Almost immediately, there’s a knock on the door. It’s a young boy. He says his name is Henry.

 He says he’s her son.

 Everything goes haywire from there.

 After she takes Henry to Storybrooke (seriously, who names a _town_ that?) Emma’s perfectly normal, boring (and lonely) life is shaken up. She doesn’t plan to stay for more than a week, but there’s something about Henry’s adoptive mother that makes her skin crawl. Emma just wants to make sure her son is safe, at least. Is that selfish?

 (Because she loves him. She loved him from the moment he was born, continued to love him even when she gave him up and the more she spends time with him now, eleven years later, she just continues to love him more.)

 Between becoming the sheriff of Storybrooke of Storybrooke, overseeing the drama that is Mary Margaret and David Nolan’s love life and dealing with a mayor who seems to be out for her blood and spending time with Henry, Emma doesn’t have time to think about soulmates. 

 Then Henry gets poisoned.

 Suddenly, Emma finds that the curse is _very_ real and that she’s in a town full of fairy tale characters. Almost immediately, she’s sent to slay a dragon and steal the antidote for the poison (at the bottom of the _library_ of all things) only, it doesn’t work because Gold-Rumplestilkskin double crosses them.

 She goes back to the hospital to find that Henry’s heart stopped beating. Emma sobs and presses a kiss to his forehead in goodbye.

 There’s a warm pulse of light and magic and Henry wakes up.

 As does the rest of the town.

 Now, everyone has their memories back and its utter _chaos_. Then, Gold brings back magic making the situation worse. And before Emma can process the fact that she’s the daughter of Mary Margaret and David Nolan- _Snow White and Prince Charming_ \- she and Mary Margaret are sucked into a portal and end up in the Enchanted Forest where they have to team up with Mulan and Sleeping Beauty to get back home.

Seriously, what is her life?

 After escaping from Cora (the Evil Queen’s even more evil mommy, apparently), they go back to the refugee camp only to find everyone dead.

 Emma’s stomach turns at the sight of the hundreds of corpses strewn about the destroyed village. This Cora is one psycho bitch. She wants to get to Storybrooke as well, but she _won’t_ , not if Emma has anything to say about it.

 Henry is there, after all. Emma has to protect him.

 “There’s someone under there!” Aurora’s voice brings Emma out of her thoughts and she swings around to see Mary Margaret and Mulan help a man out from under a pile of corpses.

 “Thank you,” The man rasps out, and the sound of his accented voice sends a shiver down Emma’s spine. He turns and looks at her.

 Emma staggers back, barely suppressing a gasp as a myriad of colors dance across her vision. It stops as soon as it starts, and then all she can see a deep, stormy shade of blue.

 It’s the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen.

 It’s also the color of his eyes.

 Inhaling sharply, Emma tears her gaze away and looks around, feeling more panicked by the second.

  _Damnit, damnit, damnit!_

As she looks around, taking in the sandy earth, the ruddy brown of Aurora’s hair and the faded pink of Mary Margaret’s cardigan, her worst fears are confirmed.

 This guy, whoever he is-is her soulmate.

 


	2. chapter 2

**colors of love**

**chapter two**

_Summary: A myriad of colors dance across her vision. It stops as soon as it starts, and then all she can see a deep, stormy shade of blue._

_It's the most beautiful thing she's ever seen._

_It's also the color of his eyes._

_Damnit!_

_**A CS soulmates!au.** _

**A/N: Here's the next chapter! Hope you guys enjoy it~Thank you for your reviews, thecaptainswan, SparklyGurly227 and Oneonta!  
**

Emma's first instinct is to run. Run as far as possible, preferably to the ends of the earth and never look back.

Against her better instincts, she sits next to her soulmate- _God_ _that sounds weird_ \- and listens as he feeds them some sob story about being a poor blacksmith who hid during the attack. (He also says his name is Killian Jones. Can't forget that.)

He's a good liar, Emma will give him that much. His expression and tone are meek and subdued, but she'll bet anything that it's the opposite of his true nature.

She doesn't hesitate to call him out on his lies. He denies it, of course, and then perks up with he hears Mary Margaret speak of finding Cora.

"I know this land well," He tries to convince them. "I can guide you-"

Emma snaps.

She grabs a fistful of his hair and tilts his head back, pressing her knife against his throat. "You're not guiding us _anywhere_ until you tell us who you really are."

Within minutes, Emma has him tied to a tree with Mulan's help and whistles for the ogres. Turning, she walks away without a backward glance.

"What if he's telling the truth?" Aurora looks back at Killian in worry. Emma scoffs.

"He's not," She says dismissively.

"Good for you!"

Emma stops.

"You've bested me," Killian says, all meekness and terror gone from his voice. "I can count the number of people who've done that on one hand."

Emma walks back to him, the rest of the group following. "That supposed to be funny?" She demands. "Who are you?"

"Killian Jones," He smirks down at her. "But, most people have taken to call me by my more _colorful_ moniker."

Emma raises an eyebrow.

" _Hook_."

She resists the urge to facepalm.

Because of _course_ Captain freaking Hook would be her soulmate.

God, her life is weird.

* * *

As Mary Margaret, Mulan and Aurora argue over who should go after the compass with Hook, Emma stands at the foot of the beanstalk and observes the pirate in question.

She doesn't trust him, of course, not by a long shot. But there's a mutual understanding there. He has his own agenda, just as she has hers. That's why they're working together.

And then there's the whole soulmate thing.

Thinking about it, Emma has to suppress a groan. She has never had the time to think of such things before, and suddenly it's been thrown in her face; in the form of leather, blue eyes and eyeliner. Well at least Hook hasn't said anything about it. It would make the situation worse if-

Wait, why _hasn't_ he said anything?

After all, he could have easily used it as leverage while negotiating with them. Not to mention the complete lack of shock or recognition in his eyes when he saw her.

_No way_.

Can it be possible that while he's hers soulmate, she's not his?

It makes sense, Emma _has_ heard of stuff like that happening before.

She just never thought it would happen to her.

She's really not sure what to think. On one hand, she's immensely relieved because now she can simply focus on the mission and getting back to Henry. And on the other hand, Emma feels a strange mixture of hurt and disappointment.

And the worst part is that she's unable to rationalize these emotions.

Annoyed by her own reaction to this whole mess, Emma spins around and walks over to the other women.

"It's me," She interrupts shortly. "I'm going-and I'm not gonna fail."

* * *

Emma Swan is quite possibly one of the most fascinating women he has ever met, Killian thinks, as they climb the beanstalk together.

The moment he had laid eyes on her, Killian knew that this woman was dangerous. For a minute, she seemed to be glowing-so vivid and bright and everything else seemed to pale in comparison. It was like staring at the sun, and Killian had to resist the urge to shield his eyes.

If Killian didn't know any better, he'd think she was his soulmate.

But he _does_ know better and he resolves to stay away. She is _different_ and is achingly familiar, like a long lost memory.

Emma Swan is dangerous.

And Killian has always been a magnet for danger.

Emma keeps up a stony silence as they begin the climb. When they are almost halfway there, Killian can't take it anymore and strikes up conversation.

"You know, most men would take your silence as off-putting, but I love a challenge."

Emma glares at him. "I'm concentrating."

"No, you're afraid," Killian retorts. "Afraid to talk, to reveal yourself. To trust me. It'd be a lot smoother if you do."

Emma pulls herself up beside him and snorts slightly. "You should be used to people not trusting you."

"Ah, the pirate thing," Killian resumes the climb, really not caring about her impression of him and more than a little smug that he finally got her to talk. "Well, I don't need you to share. You're something of an open book."

"Am I?"

"Aye. Let's see-you volunteered to come because you're the most motivated. You need to get back to a child."

Emma looks unimpressed. "That's not perception, that's eavesdropping."

"You don't want to abandon him the way you were abandoned." Killian says lowly.

There's a slight tremor in her voice when she speaks. "Was I?"

Killian shrugs. "Like I said, open book."

Emma finally looks at him, then. "How would you know that?" She demands warily.

Killian looks away from her and focuses on the vines he's grasping in his hand and hook. "I spent many years in Neverland, home of the Lost Boys. They all share the same look in their eyes, the look you get when you've been left alone."

It's not the exact truth. It's true that Killian has seen that lonely, forlorn look in the eyes of the Lost Boys, but he also sees it in himself, everyday.

But Emma doesn't need to know that.

"Yeah, well, my world ain't Neverland," Emma's face exudes indifference, but Killian can sense the vulnerability beneath.

"But an orphan's an orphan," When Emma doesn't respond, Killian tries a new tack. "Love has been all too rare in your life, hasn't it?" He pauses the climb and looks her in the eye, raising a brow. "Have you ever _been_ in love?"

Emma stops climbing as well and turns to face him. Her jade eyes are cold and empty as she speaks.

"No. I have never been in love."

* * *

As they finally reach the top of the beanstalk and enter the huge courtyard, Emma glances at Hook. He hasn't said a word after she told him she'd never been in love. She's pretty sure that he saw right through her, but exhibiting some tact for once, he decided not to push it.

Emma hasn't expected this. All she wanted to do was the climb the beanstalk, get the compass and go home to Henry. She just didn't expect that damn pirate to read her so well and figure things out about her that nobody else did.

She knows he's her soulmate, but this is going a bit too far.

Emma looks around the courtyard, trying to get these thoughts out of her mind. Right now, she needs to focus on getting the compass. Hook can wait till later. Or maybe she can just _not_ think about him at all. Oh, who is she kidding? That's not going to happen at all.

As if on cue, his voice breaks through her thoughts. "Your hand."

"What?" Emma asks distractedly and glances down at her left hand and grimaces. There's a long, jagged cut across the palm that's bleeding badly and hurts quite badly too, now that she thinks about it. How the hell did she not notice it before?

"Your hand, it's cut. Let me help."

"No," Emma backs away quickly. "No, its fine-"

"No, it's not," Hook insists and pulls her towards him. Doing her best to ignore their sudden proximity and the heat that's radiating off his body, Emma raises a brow.

"So now you're going to be a gentleman?" She says dryly.

Hook leans closer, his breath ghosting over her ear as he speaks. "Giants can smell blood. And I'm always a gentleman."

_God, this is ridiculous_ , Emma thinks angrily. She's a grown woman; she shouldn't be feeling so flustered around this-this _pirate_! Sure he may incredibly attractive and hot as hell and have the dangerous bad boy vibe that Emma may or may not have a thing for and _sure_ his eyes may be blue and deep enough to suck her in but that does not mean she should be so distracted around him!

Ugh, she _really_ needs to get a grip.

Hook takes a flask out from seemingly nowhere and pops the cork with his teeth. Holding up her hand, he spills half the flask's contents over it.

Emma hisses in pain and tries to jerk away. "Ah! What the hell is that?!"

"Rum," Hook answers nonchalantly and inspects the wound. "A bloody waste of it."

Hook takes off the scarf around his neck and starts to loop it around her palm. "So, here's the plan," He begins. "We wait for the giant to fall asleep and when he does, we'll sneak past him into his cave. It's where the treasures are, and where the compass lies." He leans down and fastens the knot with his mouth, holding eye contact with her all the while.

Emma can feel her face burning at the sensation of his breath over her palm and she can't help but think about how that mouth of his would feel against hers. _He'd be an amazing kisser,_ she thinks.

"And then?" Emma asks, hating herself for how breathless she sounds.

Hook smirks, _the bastard_ , as if he knows exactly what's running through her mind. "And then we find the compass, and run like hell."

He finally lets go of her hand and Emma doesn't know whether to feel relieved or disappointed.

"I don't have time to wait for a giant to fall asleep," Emma says tiredly. "The powder Mulan gave us, we need to use it."

"Well, that's riskier."

Emma gives him a disbelieving look. "Than waiting for a giant to fall asleep when we need him to?"

Hook nods in assent. "Good point," He murmurs and gives her an admiring smile. "You're a tough lass. You'd make a hell of a pirate."

He takes the powder out of the satchel and hands it to her. Emma grasps it and then notices something she hadn't before, a tattoo on his forearm. It's a curved dagger-she's pretty sure she's seen something like it in Henry's book-piercing a heart. A woman's name is written on the dagger. _Milah_.

"Who's Milah, on the tattoo?"

Hook's eyes widen for a minute-and Emma can see pain and agony in his gaze before his defenses slam back up and he turns away. The smirking, flirting pirate is gone, all of a sudden and now all she can see is a broken, wounded man.

"Someone from long ago," Hook says quietly and walks past her.

"Where is she?" Emma asks. Hook sounds almost exasperated when he replies.

"She's gone."

Judging from the pain she saw in his eyes, this 'Milah' was probably his soulmate. And suddenly everything clicks into place.

" _What does Captain Hook want in Storybrooke?"_

" _To get revenge, on the man who took my hand, Rumplestilkskin."_

"Gold." Emma says aloud and watches as Hook stops in his tracks. "Rumplestilkskin. He took more than just your hand from you, didn't he? That's why you want to kill him."

Hook is silent for a long moment before he speaks.

"For someone who's never been in love, you're quite perceptive, aren't you?"

Emma thinks of a stolen watch, the cold metal of handcuffs clasping over her wrists, tears running down her cheeks as her baby is taken away from her.

"Maybe I was," Emma whispers. "Once."


	3. chapter 3

**colors of love**

**chapter three**

_Summary: A myriad of colors dance across her vision. It stops as soon as it starts, and then all she can see a deep, stormy shade of blue._

_It's the most beautiful thing she's ever seen._

_It's also the color of his eyes._

_Damnit!_

_**A CS soulmates!au.** _

Emma leaves Hook on top of the beanstalk.

To be exact, she chains him up there, after asking the giant to let him go after ten hours.

She needs a head start, she tells herself. She can't trust him. He's a pirate; he'd double cross her in the blink of an eye.

(She's always been a horrible liar.)

Emma can still hear his angered shouts echoing in her mind as she walked away from him in the giant's lair.

She feels immensely guilty over it, and finds herself glancing over her shoulder multiple times, to see if he had caught up with them. (Sometimes, she finds herself hoping he would.)

Mary Margaret keeps asking her what's wrong, what happened up on the beanstalk, why is she acting so strange.

Emma knows what happened. She had let herself trust him, had even opened up to him a bit. It was crystal clear that he might end up being significant to her, sometime in the future. Trusting had always gotten Emma burned. She convinced herself that he would betray her, just like everyone else had.

(She regrets it, but it's too late to turn back now.)

* * *

Killian follows Cora as she walks out of the dungeon. Trapping the four women in Rumplestilkskin's jail cell had been almost laughably easy. He feels a bit bad over taking Aurora's heart, but his resolve only steels when Emma comes to mind. She betrayed him, so he's giving her a little taste of her own medicine now. He is positively _furious_ at her, even if he doesn't let it show on his face.

And more than that, he's angry at himself. Angry at himself for getting distracted by a pretty face, by the notion that she might understand him, might even _trust_ him. And angry at himself for still admiring her, for still feeling his breath catch at the sight of her, for being unable to _stop thinking about her_.

"Hook!" As if on cue, Emma calls out to him. Killian sets his jaw and turns around, raising a brow at her. She's clutching the bars of the cell and he can see her throat bob as she swallows.

"Please don't do this. I have a son, he needs me."

Killian steps closer to the cell. "Perhaps you should've considered that before you left me up on that beanstalk."

Emma's eyes flicker to his. "You would've done the same," She says scornfully.

Killian makes sure she's looking him in the eye when he responds. "Actually, no."

And he can pinpoint the exact moment she realizes that he's speaking the truth. Emma looks down-whether in guilt or resignation, he cannot tell.

Unable to resist, Killian lifts up the petrified bean he had pilfered from the giant. It's of no use, of course, it can't create a portal. But he wanted a token of the adventure. "Do you know what this is?"

Emma looks at it, shocked. "The bean that the giant kept!" She lunges for it, but Killian neatly holds it out of the way.

"Indeed. This a symbol. Something that was once magical, and full of hope." Killian pauses. Hope, indeed. He had felt it-very briefly, when they climbed the beanstalk, when they flirted and bantered and made an incredible team against the giant.

"Now look at it," He continues. "Dead, dried up and useless. Much like you."

Not her, per se, but her heart. It's definitely dead, broken to the point where she can't even trust or open up. Killian can't help but wonder, who was it, who was the man who broke her, shattered her beyond recognition, because there's no way she was always like this.

"The time for making deals is done," Killian says and backs away. "Just as I am done, with you."

(Even as he speaks the words, they taste like lies.)

This time when he leaves, she doesn't call out to him.

(He wonders why walking away from her feels so wrong.)

* * *

It's been almost a week since they returned. All the craziness has finally started to settle down and Emma finally feels relaxed and peaceful for the first time since, well, forever.

One morning, Emma takes the day off from work, David offering to cover at the station for her. Henry is away at school, so the loft is occupied only by her and Mary Margaret. As they sit down to breakfast, Emma notices that Henry left his storybook behind. Taking a sip of her hot chocolate, she reaches out and flips through it, pausing when she arrives at the story of Snow White and Prince Charming.

Mary Margaret smiles when she notices. "Still feels a bit surreal, doesn't it?"

"No kidding," Emma mutters. It isn't just finding out that she lives in a town full of fairy tales _and_ that she's the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming. It's also being able to see colors, to wake up in the morning and blink in surprise at the bright wallpaper and bedspread; to suddenly look around and see everything so vivid and radiant, like she's seeing the world for the first time.

Well at least _one_ good thing came out of their trip to the Enchanted Forest.

"Everything alright?" Mary Margaret asks.

Emma nods. "Yeah. I was wondering…"

"What?" Mary Margaret prods, a little too eagerly. Emma feels bad-she knows how badly Mary Margaret wants to bond with her, now that they know they're mother and daughter. She really does, but she's just too used to _not_ having any parents…..let alone parents her age.

"When you and David met," Emma begins slowly. "Wasn't it awkward?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you guys were enemies-"

"We weren't enemies!" Mary Margaret says indignantly.

Emma raises an eyebrow. "You hit him in the face with a rock." She says dryly.

Mary Margaret blinks and then chuckles. "Point taken."

"So if you guys were enemies…..and then when you looked at each other for the first time and the world just.. _burst into color_ ….you then knew that you were soulmates, so…"

Mary Margaret smiles. "We were both really surprised, that's for sure," She says wistfully. "It-It felt like the world had shifted on its axis, like everything I had ever known had been turned upside down. Everything was so _bright_ and colorful…..and yet all I could focus on was the color of his eyes."

Emma shifts uncomfortably at her words.

"Once I came back to myself, I decided to take advantage of his shock," Mary Margaret continues. "And like you said-I hit him the face with a rock. You understand that I was on the run back then, always living in fear of Regina. I didn't believe in true love, or soulmates or any of that. And neither did he. So we never talked about it, until we inevitably fell in love, that is."

"…I see," Emma says after a lengthy pause. "It must have been tough."

"True love is never easy, but it's always worth it," Mary Margaret says softly and then frowns. "But why all the questions, Emma?"

Emma stiffens. The truth is, she really wants to talk about _it_ to someone. To just, get it out of her system so she can forget about it already. And telling Mary Margaret seems like the best option. David is out of the question, and Henry-well, Henry would probably think it was cool. He is an eleven year old boy after all; it doesn't take much to impress him.

"Emma?" Mary Margaret presses.

Emma sighs loudly and then quickly blurts it out before she can second guess herself. "I met my soulmate."

Mary Margaret's mouth falls open in surprise as she tries to process what Emma just said.

Then she squeals. _Loudly._

"Oh, Emma, that's wonderful! Who is it? Anyone I know? When did it happen? I'm assuming recently, otherwise you would've mentioned it before. It _did_ happen recently, right? Emma?"

The sheriff in question cringes and ducks her head. Noticing her hesitance, Mary Margaret frowns. "Emma, what's wrong?"

"It's someone…." Emma struggles a little. "Someone we met back in the Enchanted Forest. You're-you're _not_ gonna like it….."

It only takes a few seconds for it to click in Mary Margaret's mind.

" _Oh_."

"I know."

" _Emma_."

"I _know_!"

"Captain Hook is your soulmate," Mary Margaret says breathlessly and Emma cringes again.

"When you say it like that, it sounds ridiculous."

" _Oh my God_ ," Mary Margaret sinks back into her chair, rendered speechless. Then, she sits up abruptly and asks, "Wait, is that why you left him up on that beanstalk?"

"No!" Emma says quickly. "I-I couldn't trust him, is all. It had nothing to do with," She waves her hand vaguely. "The soulmate thing."

It's a lie. The problem was that she _could_ trust him. That had terrified her, because she knew that trusting people had never gotten her anywhere. Some way or the other, they would always let her down. Hook was no exception. Honestly, if he just been the cocky, smug pirate he pretended to be, it wouldn't have been a problem. But she had caught a glimpse of the man under that façade, of Killian Jones who was driven by heartbreak and revenge; set out to avenge the death of the only woman he ever loved. There had been a connection there, they had _understood_ each other, they made a hell of a team and she could trust him.

 _That's_ why she left him up on top of the beanstalk, despite every instinct of hers screaming at her not to.

And he had been furious at her, and rightly so.

" _You would've done the same."_

" _Actually, no."_

Emma's lie detector hadn't even given a peep when he spoke those words.

Did she regret it? Yes.

Would she do it again? Most likely.

"What happened up on the beanstalk?" Mary Margaret asks. Emma stiffens and unconsciously traces the scar on her left palm.

"Nothing," She replies curtly. Mary Margaret clearly doesn't believe her, but Emma can't bring herself to care at the moment. "There's more than just _that_."

"What do you mean?"

"I _mean_ , that he may be my soulmate…..but I'm not his."

Mary Margaret's eyes widen. "Wh-Emma, are you sure about that?"

Emma winces slightly. "Yeah. There's no way he wouldn't have mentioned it-and besides, there was no recognition in his eyes."

She would know, she spent an awful lot of time staring at them.

_Okay, Emma, let's not go there._

"Oh, Emma," Mary Margaret says sympathetically. "I'm sorry."

"There's nothing to be sorry about," Emma shrugs. "I never really believed in this stuff anyway….and I'm not one for commitment, you know that. It makes no difference to me."

"Are you sure about that?" Mary Margaret asks. Emma nods firmly.

"Positive. Besides, it's not like I'll ever be seeing him again."

* * *

Wrong. She had been _so_ wrong.

Emma groans tiredly and massages her forehead. She's in the hospital lobby, accompanied by Mary Margaret, Ruby and a couple others. Now, not only is there a stranger in Storybrooke who has crashed his car, but Belle is injured and recovering and Hook had gotten hit by a car _and_ beaten half to death by Gold.

Oh, and Mary Margaret wants them to go back to the Enchanted Forest. There's also that.

Mary Margaret sighs at the expression on Emma's face. "Look, I don't-"

"What's this?"

Emma spins around and almost _growls_ when she sees Hook casually leaning against a wall, holding a plate of jello.

"I found it on a tray," He says, raising an eyebrow at her.

"Really?" Emma snaps and walks over.

" _Pirate_ ," Hook retorts, holding up his hand so she can see the unlocked cuffs dangling from it. "What the bloody hell is this?" He shakes his head at the jello.

"Jello," Emma hisses, just as Mary Margaret speaks up from behind her. "It's food. You eat it."

Oh, _God._ Mary Margaret is here. This is the absolute worst.

"And here I thought it was a hallucination," Hook mutters, eyeing the substance warily, as if expecting it to attack him any moment. Emma would find the situation hilarious if it isn't so damn _annoying_.

He looks past her and glimpses Ruby, scoffing lightly at the scene. Hook smirks in appreciation.

"Well, _you're_ quite real, aren't you?"

Emma's ire only increases at this and she grabs Hook by the shoulder and spins him around, ignoring his groan of pain.

"Go, eat your jello."

Mary Margaret is giving her that knowing look again. Emma shakes her head wearily.

"Don't start."

"I didn't say anything."

"Let's keep it that way, then." Emma murmurs.

The less she thinks about this, the better.

* * *

Emma Swan has gone to New York, with bloody _Rumplestilkskin_ of all people.

Killian growls under his breath as he makes his way to the sheriff station. He can understand how that woman's mind works. Does she have _any_ idea of how dangerous the crocodile can be? Not that he cares. He _really_ doesn't. He just doesn't want to see anyone else dying at Rumplestilkskin's hand.

(That's it, he swears.)

Well, at least now that the crocodile is in a world without magic, killing him just became easier. Killian has the dreamshade he procured from Neverland, now all he needs his hook.

Hence the trip to the station.

After entering the main office and knocking out David, he spots a metal cabinet beneath a desk. Killian opens the first drawer and his eyes widen slightly. The grey scarf he'd used to bandage Emma's hand lies on top of the other items. Killian picks it up and a grin tugs at his lips.

"So much for not caring, Swan." He murmurs.

Beneath the scarf lie his hook and the compass. Killian screws his hook back into the brace with a satisfied smile. He eyes the scarf and shakes his head with a smirk and puts it back. After a moment of hesitation, Killian picks up the compass and watches as the needle spins.

 _Looks like I won't need that locator potion after all,_ Killian thinks smugly and tucks the compass into his pocket.

"I will find you, Swan." He says quietly, not quite realizing the weight of the words he speaks.

* * *

Emma can't remember the last time she's felt so physically, mentally and emotionally drained.

Finding Gold's son was supposed to be an easy task, one that she could finish in a matter of days and then get back to Storybrooke with Henry.

But then Emma runs into Neal, who turns out to be Gold's son.

Henry finds out, and is now angry at her for lying to him. Rage bubbles up in Emma's chest when Neal doesn't even bother defending her, when the whole thing was his fault to begin with. How could she have told Henry that his father was _scum_ that left her to rot in a prison cell for his own crime?

Neal sees fit to let her take the blame for everything. And Emma is too numb, too drained to even fight back.

Then Hook shows up and makes everything worse by stabbing Gold and injecting him with some kind of poison. Emma knocks him out with a blow to the head and drags him into a closet to tie him up while Neal takes care of his dad.

(This is really becoming routine for them, Emma thinks wryly)

Just as she secures the bonds in place, Hook wakes up and blinks at her blearily. He struggles against the chain and raises an eyebrow at her. "This again, darling?"

"What the hell were you thinking?" Emma demands.

Hook shrugs. "I got my revenge, after two hundred years of waiting. That's all that matters to me now."

Emma is a bit thrown by the 'two hundred years' comment and then decides that she doesn't want to touch that topic with a ten feet pole. "What makes you think that that's going to finish the job?"

"Oh, it will," Hook smiles darkly and Emma swallows, noting how different he seems from back when they climbed that beanstalk. There he had been all smiles and innuendo and charm. Here, there is not even a hint of humor in his eyes. "There's no saving him now, Swan."

Emma huffs and straightens up. "We'll see about that."

Hook looks frustrated. "Why are you so determined to protect him?!Do you _know_ what he has done?"

"Yeah, well, I'm the sheriff of Storybrooke," Emma points out. "It's my duty to protect everyone. _Even_ Gold."

 _That's the reason I came here in the first place, idiot!_ Emma thinks to herself. _Because if Gold hadn't used Hook as leverage, I probably wouldn't have fulfilled my end of the bargain!_

Hook suddenly leans forward and peers at her. "You're….different," He murmurs. "Smaller. Like the fire and spark's all gone out of you."

Emma gulps, wondering for the umpteenth time just _how_ he can read her so well. "It's been a long day." She spins around on her heel. "I need to go," She says almost apologetically, yet unable to look him the eye. "I-"

"Need a head start?' Hook finishes for her, his voice dry.

"Yeah," Emma nods and fights the urge to turn back and let him go. "See you around, I guess."

He doesn't say another word.

 _It's for the best,_ Emma thinks, and leaves.

* * *

Killian looks at the black pouch in his hand, then up at the boundless horizon, and then back at the pouch.

This is nothing new. He has double crossed many people before, this isn't the first and it most definitely won't be the last. He owes the people of that town nothing. If the roles are reversed, they wouldn't hesitate to stab him in the back.

Then why does he feel so guilty?

Emma's voice echoes in his mind. _"You can join us, be a part of something…"_

Killian shakes his head. _No._

And then he thinks of Baelfire.

He had once wanted to father him and raise him as his own, just as Milah would have wanted. But then Baelfire rejected him ( _just like everyone else)_ and in a fit of rage, Killian had turned him over to Pan in Neverland.

And he regretted it for the rest of his life.

Killian's hand curls into a fist around the pouch as he recalls the rest of Emma's speech.

"… _or you can do what you do best, and be alone."_

But there won't be a place for him among _them_ , among the heroes. Not really. He isn't like them. He fights to survive, the only reason he still lives is because his anger and heartbreak keep him alive. There's nothing else to live for.

He remembers Baelfire, that strong young lad who had reminded him so much of Milah. Baelfire grew up and is Henry's father ( _Emma's son_ ) and now…..

Now, he is dead.

" _You and I, we understand each other."_

Killian wonders what Liam and Milah would've wanted him to do. The answer comes easily enough.

" _Look out for yourself and you never get hurt, right?"_

He glances down again at the pouch and sighs as he makes up his mind.

 _Be a part of something_.

* * *

As Killian disembarks from the ship, Emma is already striding towards him, her eyes flashing with anger. "What are you doing here?"

"Helping," Killian replies and wonders why she looks so agitated, surely it can't be too late-

"Well, you're too late."

Emma and the others tell him shortly, of how Henry was kidnapped, of how Greg and Tamara jumped into a portal with him and then disappeared to goodness knows where. Killian listens in silence and his mind is made up before Emma even finishes speaking.

"Well then, I offer my ship and services, to help rescue the lad."

Emma looks startled and then her eyes narrow. "I thought you didn't care about anyone but yourself."

Killian hands her the pouch. "Maybe I just needed reminding that I could," He says simply.

Emma takes out the bean and glances up at him. Killian shifts uncomfortably as she silently assesses him, reading his every move. Finally, she nods in understanding and gives the bean back to him.

A sign of trust.

And for the first time in a _very_ long time, Killian feels the stirrings of hope.


	4. chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your comments! Love you guys!

 

**colors of love**

**chapter four**

_Summary: A myriad of colors dance across her vision. It stops as soon as it starts, and then all she can see a deep, stormy shade of blue._

_It's the most beautiful thing she's ever seen._

_It's also the color of his eyes._

_Damnit!_

**_A CS soulmates!au._ **

Neverland.

They are in freaking _Neverland_.

And it's nothing like Emma has imagined as a child. It's darkly beautiful, enchanting and also incredibly dangerous. Peter Pan is not just an annoying twelve year old, he's a _demon_ who's kidnapped her son and left her with a vague map that will only be unlocked when she 'admits who she truly is'. Whatever that means.

It's their second night there and Emma is finding it near impossible to sleep. She's lived through worse conditions than this before, to be sure, but she's never had to deal with the cries of the lost boys ringing through her ears. And all Emma can think about, when she hears them, is Henry, and the fact that he might be in danger, and that she's _powerless_ to stop it-

Emma sits up with a frustrated groan and flings off the blankets. Looking around, she can see that her parents and Regina are fast asleep, but Hook is sitting before the dying embers of the fire, his back to her.

"I thought there was no need to keep watch, since Regina put up a protection spell."

His shoulders stiffen momentarily at her words and then he turns around to face her.

"Magic is unpredictable in Neverland. I'd prefer not to take my chances."

Emma studies his face. There's truth in his words, but he's holding something back.

"That's not all there is, is it?"

Hook's eyes widen a bit at her perception and he sighs in defeat. "Aye," He admits. "It's difficult to sleep while being haunted by the cries of the lost boys."

Emma blinks in surprise, not having expected that answer. "You hear them too?"

"All orphans do," Hook responds, echoing Pan's words from the previous night. Emma thinks back to their conversation on the beanstalk.

" _They all share the same look in their eyes…the look you get when you've been left alone."_

He had referred to the lost boys back then, but now Emma understood that he had been talking about himself.

"You were abandoned?"

Hook looks away from her probing gaze and refuses to answer. Emma isn't all that surprise, in fact having expected it.

"Why are you here?" She asks after a beat. Hook meets her eyes once more, looking confused. Emma presses on. "Why did you offer to help us? You could've just given us the bean and could've gone on your merry way. Why come with us?"

There's a long pause before he speaks. "I once abandoned Baelfire to the mercy of the lost boys, left him stranded in Neverland, to gain Pan's favor," There's guilt and shame in his voice. "I don't want to see the same happen to Baelfire's son. This is…my way of atoning, I suppose."

Emma processes the information and Hook speaks again. "And perhaps I wanted to be a part of something."

A small smile appears on her face. "I can understand that."

And Emma tries not to think about how his eyes light up at her words, about how they seem to be even bluer and vivid than usual and about how she is once again glad that she can see colors, glad that she can see the colors of his eyes.

(She tries not to think about it, but it haunts her dreams anyway.)

(This time, the cries of the lost boys do not disturb her.)

* * *

 

"Excellent show of patience, love," Killian says with a warm smile as Regina and Emma's parents walk away, leaving them alone in the clearing. Emma grins at his praise and he can't help or understand the burst of warmth in his chest when she ducks her head slightly.

(It feels familiar, he thinks, to the warmth and giddiness he felt when he first heard the sound of Milah's laughter.)

(Emma doesn't smile very often, but whenever she does, Killian feels as if he would set the world on fire, just to see that smile again.)

Trying to distract himself from those unwanted feelings, Killian pulls out his flask and offers it to her. Emma raises a brow and smirks at him. "Is rum your solution to everything?"

Killian shrugs. "It certainly doesn't hurt," He quips, and takes a swig, relishing in the familiar burn of the alcohol. It works well as a distraction, particularly against budding feelings of affection, and…..no. He won't allow himself to think it. He _can't_.

Emma takes the flask when he offers it to her again and Killian tries not to let his gaze linger on the smooth slope of her throat as she tilts her head or on her supple lips as she drinks from the flask. Coughing a little, he rekindles the conversation again, thinking darkly that even the rum won't help him here.

"How did you unlock the map?"

Emma glances up at him. "I did what Pan asked," She answers evasively.

"Just who are you, Swan?" Killian wonders. He wants to know, wants to know so much that it's almost frightening. He wants to know everything about her, from her darkest fears to her deepest desires. Whatever he knows has only come from speculation and the rare times she decided to open up to him. Killian can't help but wish that one day; she might trust him enough to tell him _everything_. And maybe he could tell her too, tell her about Liam, Milah, his father-he has a feeling that she'll understand perfectly.

(She will, he knows. They're kindred spirits, after all.)

Emma hands back the flask and gives him an almost flirtatious smile. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

_Yes, of course._ "Perhaps I would," Killian murmurs, a little surprised at the sincerity in his tone.

(But everything is a surprise, when it comes to her.)

Emma's eyes widen-Killian can see shock there, along with another unreadable emotion-and then her walls slam back up and she quickly walks away. Killian watches her go, once again feeling like he failed, somehow.

* * *

 

_Why does everyone in this bloody family have a death wish?_ Killian thinks more than a little irritably, as he helps David sit up and drink the water from the spring of Neverland. First the prince had gotten himself poisoned, and then pushed himself to the point where the dreamshade started killing him even faster, and tried to fight Killian off, even though Killian was only trying to help him. It was a good thing David had calmed down enough to listen to Killian's explanation about the cure, or else he might've died sooner.

_Like father, like daughter_ , Killian thinks a little wryly. _At least Snow White isn't as bloody reckless_.

David lets out a surprised laugh as the water takes effect immediately, and the dreamshade is cleared out of his system. Killian laughs too, a little weakly, as he feels the events of the day take its toll on him, physically and mentally.

Once David is on his feet, he gives Killian a warm smile, and Killian feels his heart clench as he is reminded of his brother. If only he had known then what he knows now, then maybe Liam wouldn't have died, just maybe-

"One question," David says. "Why would you risk your life to save me, when there wasn't anything in it for yourself?"

Killian thinks of Liam-and then his thoughts go involuntarily to Emma, as always and he winks at David.

"I didn't do it for you, mate."

They make it back to the camp with no further delay, and on the trek back, Killian finds himself opening up to David, just a bit, about Liam, and how they had served in the Royal Navy together, before he had been taken from him.

(What is it about this family that makes him want to spill all his secrets?)

When they finally reach the camp, David instantly runs to Snow, greeting her with an enthusiastic kiss. Killian looks away from the display of affection and an uncomfortable Emma does the same.

Regina doesn't bother to hide the disgusted look on her face as she turns to Killian. "Where's the sextant?"

"I'm afraid Pan got to it first," Killian says. Regina and Emma sigh in defeat.

David and Snow are too wrapped up in each other to even notice. Emma shifts uncomfortably again. "Okay, I'm complaining."

"What I wouldn't give for another sleeping curse," Regina mutters snarkily.

"Hook," David says suddenly. "He saved my life."

Killian looks up sharply at him. "Are you sure you want to tell them that, mate?"

"On our trek," David continues. "We were ambushed by lost boys. And Hook- he risked his life to stop me from getting hit by a poisoned arrow."

_Well, I'll be_. Killian thinks dazedly. _This family is full of surprises. Like father, like daughter, indeed._

David walks up to him and Killian resists the urge to run or duck for cover as he continues to talk. He hasn't expected this, being given credit; it hasn't even occurred to him that David might tell everyone. He can feel his face burn as everyone stares at him, various levels of gratitude on their faces.

Emma's stare weighs heaviest.

"To Hook," They toast to him, and Killian blushes painfully, turning away.

It's an odd feeling, being a part of something that has nothing to do with his….career as a pirate or for revenge.

It's exhilarating.

(Emma's stare continues to burn into his back.)

* * *

 

Emma takes a swig of rum from the flask and wonders absently if the object is enchanted, or something, because it never seems to run out. The others have already moved away, leaving her and Hook alone in the clearing.

Again.

Glancing at Hook out of the corner of her eye, Emma frowns slightly. He seems stiff and reserved, and when David thanked him earlier, he seemed downright uncomfortable.

Finally, she breaks the silence.

"Did you really save his life?"

Hook turns to face her. "Does that surprise you?"

Emma moves closer and gives him back the flask. "Well, you and David aren't exactly…how do you say it? _Mates_."

Hook's jaw clenches and he looks her in the eye, his tone almost challenging when he speaks. "That doesn't mean I'd leave your father to perish on this island."

"Thank you," Emma says sincerely, feeling gratitude bubble up in her chest. She just found her father, and she doesn't know what she'll do if she loses him as quickly. Looks like she owes Hook another one-first he comes back to a place he hates to save a boy he barely knows and then he risks his own life to save her fathers'.

He just continues surprising her.

Hook looks down and fiddles with his flask and Emma swallows a grin of amusement when she sees the tips of his ears burn red. So the big bad pirate captain can't take a bit of thanks, huh?

Hook glances up at her, apparently trying to recover from his momentary bout of embarrassment. "Well, perhaps gratitude is in order, now." He murmurs and taps at his lips, smiling slyly.

Emma smiles in spite of herself. She knows that the flirting and innuendo is a self defense mechanism-that much is clear but now, but she can't help but flirt back, just a little bit, feeling her heart pound with anticipation.

"Yeah, that's what the thank you was for."

Hook sways closer, and Emma finds her eyes drawn to the curve of his lips as he speaks. "Is that all your father's life is worth to you?" He taunts, and Emma wonders, why is it that he suddenly seems so vivid, so bright, that the colors of the jungle surrounding them seem to pale in comparison.

"Please," Emma whispers, with a small shake of her head. "You couldn't handle it."

Hook smirks at her, his cheeks flushed. "Perhaps _you're_ the one who couldn't handle it."

Emma gazes at him for a long moment. She knows it's a bad idea-every rational part of her brain screams at her that it's quite possibly one of the worst ideas she's ever had.

But Emma has never been a very rational person.

And he's just _there_ -taunting her with his eyes and words and that obscene thing he does with his tongue that makes her insides turn to mush and the blood rush to her cheeks.

He's not the only one who likes a challenge.

Emma grabs Hook by the lapels of his coat and pulls him into her, slamming her lips against his with an almost bruising force. He lets out a startled gasp against her mouth and stiffens for a moment, before tentatively cradling the back of her head and kissing her back.

Emma tilts her head and deepens the kiss. It's hot, frantic, passionate, tongues meeting and teeth grazing. Hook backs up a bit, trying to take a breath but Emma pulls him back in, not ready to stop yet. There's fire coursing through her veins and he is like a drug, and _she just can't get enough of him_.

(She wonders if his heart is pounding as fiercely as hers.)

(Judging by the way he moans into her mouth, it probably is.)

Hook was right. She really can't handle it.

Their lips part, but their foreheads are still pressed together and Emma nearly topples over, her knees weakening and she clutches at his lapels to keep herself steady. They simply stand there for a few beats, swaying slightly, their breaths rushed and heavy.

"That was…." Hook breathes, sounding absolutely _wrecked_ and Emma can't even bring herself to feel smug because she feels the _exact same way_. There was no way that was just a kiss. If that was just a kiss, she's never been kissed before in her life.

She opens her eyes and stares at him for a moment, wondering dazedly if there's something wrong with her vision, because he's positively _glowing_.

And on that note, she'd better back away.

"A one-time thing," Emma replies finally, because it _has_ to be, she can't let it go any further than this. She's so close to falling and she won't allow herself because she just _can't_ be hurt again.

_But he wouldn't hurt you_ , a little traitorous voice whispers in her ear.

_I don't know that,_ Emma argues back.

She lets go of him and walks away, fully conscious of his eyes burning holes into her back. "Don't follow me. Wait five minutes-go get some firewood or something."

"As you wish."

(Emma smiles, and feels her heart skip a beat.)

(She's doomed.)

* * *

 

Neal is alive.

Killian is tempted to do the selfish, easy thing and not tell Emma. But he ends up telling the group anyway, because he considers himself a man of honor and he cares for Emma too much. And maybe by telling them he _is_ a little selfish-because they finally trust him and he doesn't want to break that trust.

Oh, and he's fairly certain that he's in love with Emma.

There's also that.

It's really not much of a surprise, Killian muses, as he leads the group-minus Regina-to the Echo Caves, where Neal is kept. He's been falling for her ever since she tied him to a tree in the Enchanted Forest and threatened him at knife point. It was only a matter of time, really. The kiss- _that mind blowing, life shaking kiss_ -had simply opened his eyes.

He wishes that he hasn't realized it.

Because now, he knows what his secret is-what he will have to confess in order to get the path to open in the Echo Caves.

And it is _not_ going to be easy.

* * *

 

"Neal is alive," Mary Margaret says and Emma's first, horrified thought is, _Oh God please no._

She's feels guilty for it almost immediately because while things might be strained between her and Neal (that's an understatement, really) it isn't enough to wish him dead. And if he _is_ alive, then Henry can have his father back in his life. That's a good thing, isn't it? Mary Margaret is right; Emma _does_ owe it to Henry.

It doesn't cure the sickening feeling in her gut though. And Emma wishes she could have agreed with Regina that this is a waste of time and could continue the search for Henry, without giving a second's thought to Neal.

If that isn't bad enough, the kiss with Hook keeps replaying in her mind. Every time she looks at him, that's all she can think about. And Emma might feel better if he shoots her one of his never ending innuendos or knowing smirks, but he keeps his gaze averted from hers and seems almost melancholy.

_It was just a kiss_ , Emma tells herself firmly.

Then why can't she stop thinking about it?

Glancing over her shoulder, Emma makes sure that David and Hook are out of hearing range before whispering to Mary Margaret, feeling ironically like she's in middle school again.

"I kissed him."

Mary Margaret looks at her, startled. "What? Who?"

_Who do you think?_ Emma wants to quip. _There are two men here-and one of them is my father!_

"Hook! I kissed Hook."

"Oh!" Mary Margaret doesn't seem all that surprised at this-which makes Emma bristle, _is she really that obvious_? "Why?"

Emma wants to snort-she's been asking herself the same question ever since it happened. "I-I don't know, it's been a while and I was…feeling good."

"Well, did it mean anything?"

"No!" Emma hisses and it's a lie, because it didn't mean nothing, it meant _everything_ …..she's just not sure what yet. "It was just a kiss!"

Then Mary Margaret asks the question Emma was expecting and dreading. "Is this about the soulmate thing?"

"I…." Emma trails off. It was a factor, yes, but not the reason. Somehow Emma feels like she would've kissed him without hesitation anyway. That just makes her feel more terrified, because this whole thing is becoming too _real_ and she's getting in too deep, and-

"Ah," Mary Margaret gives this little knowing nod that makes Emma's defenses spring up.

"I don't have feelings for him."

"I never said you did," Mary Margaret defends. "But I think there's a spark here, Emma," When the woman in question remains silent, she presses on. "You can't deny that there's _something_ between you two, even if you're not his soulmate."

"Even if something _were_ to happen between us," Emma says stubbornly and quickly adds on. "And it won't," she says hastily. "But if something did happen, wouldn't it be going against the laws of nature or something? After all, he probably has his own soulmate waiting for him, somewhere out there." The words taste like acid on her lips. Emma shouldn't care this much, but she does, for some reason.

Damn that stupid, attractive pirate for getting into her head like this.

Mary Margaret lets out a little disbelieving laugh. "You don't even believe in things like fate, Emma. No, what's the real reason? Is it Neal?"

"No," Emma snaps immediately. "Not Neal. There hasn't been anything between us for the past decade and there won't be anything now."

Mary Margaret furrows her brow. "But you loved him."

"'Loved' as in past tense," Emma says shortly. "You don't know the full story, Mary Margaret. You wouldn't under-"

"Then help me understand," Mary Margaret pleads. "You can tell me anything, Emma, you know that right?"

Emma exhales shakily.

And then she tells Mary Margaret everything, in as few words as possible.

Once Emma finishes her tale, Mary Margaret looks absolutely horrified, her eyes burning with angry unshed tears.

" _That sick son of a bitch_ ," She hisses, and Emma reels, because she's never heard Mary Margaret curse like that before. "When I get my hands on him-"

"-you will do absolutely nothing," Emma interrupts firmly. "We need to focus on finding Henry now. Any death threats or beating up can wait."

Mary Margaret nods and sighs in defeat. "I'm so sorry you had to go through that, Emma." She whispers and Emma's heart clenches when she sees a tear run down her mother's cheek.

_Me too_.

* * *

 

The Echo Caves are dark, dismal and sinister. Despite the layers of clothes he wears, Killian feels almost numbingly cold as Neal, trapped in a cage across the huge chasm, calls Emma's name.

Killian glances at Emma and notices that she's taken a step back, looking terrified.

He feels a twinge of exasperation as the others debate how to get to Neal. Killian can't figure out whether they're simply afraid of exposing their deepest secrets in public, or if they didn't bother to take his heeding to mind.

"I told you what needs to be done," Killian says with a sigh. "Consider this the moment of truth, literally. Now, who wants to kick things off?" Emma, ever the skeptic, scoffs a little.

"So, what, someone tells their secret and they sprout wings?"

"I don't know the particulars, only what I've been told." Killian retorts.

"How do you know it will work?" David asks warily.

"There's only one way to find out, I suppose," Killian gazes at the cage and sighs again. Turning to the rest of the group, he speaks quickly.

"I kissed Emma."

"You did _what_?!" David demands, outraged, but is silenced with a quick admonishment from Snow.

Emma rolls her eyes. "I already told Mary Margaret, so technically, it's not a secret," She pauses, looking up at him. "It was just a kiss. How is that your 'darkest secret'?"

Killian exhales. "It's what the kiss exposed," He murmurs. "I never thought I'd be capable of letting go of my first love, of my Milah. To believe that I could find someone else-that is, until I met you."

Emma stares at him, shock and fear painted across her features. There's another emotion in her face that's unreadable, and before Killian can think anything of it, the ground suddenly shakes, and a bridge begins to form, from Neal's cage to them.

Emma steps towards him, lips parted to say something, and for a moment, Killian can't breathe; his heart beating swiftly in either fear or anticipation-he really can't tell.

But then Snow interrupts with her secret. Killian watches Emma's face and feels sickened at the way it falls when Snow expresses her desire to have another baby. Killian knows that the princess didn't mean it that way, didn't mean to make it sound as if she wanted to replace Emma, but _Emma_ doesn't know that, and looking into her eyes, Killian can see her heart break, just a little bit.

And David speaks his own devastating secret-that he cannot leave Neverland if he wants to live. And Killian can see Emma's shoulders slump with the weight of this new knowledge, that she's going to lose her father as soon as she found him-and quite possibly her mother, too, because there's no way Snow will leave him here by himself.

The path is formed completely now. Emma walks over it cautiously and then looks back at them, as if seeking comfort, as if trying to gear herself up before fighting a battle. Killian holds her gaze until she turns back around and runs to Neal to free him.

And as she does, Killian thinks he can hear the sound of his own heart breaking.

* * *

 

"Yeah, well, she's got me now."

Emma feels a twinge of irritation at Neal's presumptuous words. She knew that going to Dark Hollow to capture Pan's shadow with Hook and Neal would probably be pretty awkward, but she didn't expect things to be so strained between those two. At least Hook isn't making the situation worse with any snide remarks…..which is pretty surprising, considering that he usually has no problem retaliating to whatever insult or barb Regina or David throw his way on a daily basis. Not that David has been doing a lot of that recently, given his sudden bromance with Hook.

As Neal disappears out of sight, Emma raises a hand to stop Hook before he can follow. "What was that about?" She demands. She wants answers, and she wants them _now_. If Neal and Hook are going to be at each other's throats the whole time, thus most likely compromising the mission, Emma at least wants an explanation.

Hook looks extremely uncomfortable as he speaks, avoiding Emma's gaze. "I assumed he'd heard my secret. I also assumed that you told him of our shared moment."

"Why would you assume that?"

"Perhaps I was hoping it meant something."

_Yes, it did,_ Emma wants to tell him, but that's too dangerous, and she can't put her heart at risk like that. So she diverts.

"What _meant_ something was that you told us that Neal was still alive. Thank you. I realize you could've kept Pan's information to yourself."

Hook looks genuinely puzzled at her words. "Why would I have done that?"

"I don't know," Emma shrugs. "Maybe Pan offered you a deal or something? Why else would he have told you?"

"It was a test," Hook says and Emma sucks in her breath sharply, because _of course it was_. "He wanted to see if I would leave an old friend to die, even if the friend were vying for the same woman I am."

"And you chose your friend," Emma shouldn't be that shocked, not really, he's proven his loyalty over and over, after all. Still, it comes out in her tone and Hook gives a little humorless chuckle and she's reminded of their kiss, all over again.

"Does that surprise you?"

"You _are_ a pirate." The words are meant to be teasing, but Emma can't help the little twinge she feels in her chest when Hook ducks his head in a self-deprecating gesture.

"Yeah, that I am," He looks up at her again and steps closer. "But I also believe in good form. So when I win your heart, Emma…..and I _will_ win it, it will not be because of any trickery. It will be because you want me."

Emma stares at him. The sounds of the leaves rasping together in the breeze, the quiet chirping of the birds, distant footsteps all seem to fade away as they stand there together, their breaths held in silence. Her heart is beating fast in light of his words. He spoke them so surely, so much hope and confidence in his voice that it steals the breath from her lungs, that it makes her believe that it will happen. And part of her knows it will-knows that it is inevitable, that it was bound to happen from the moment they saw each other, from the moment he looked into her eyes and asked her if she had ever been in love. This man-this infuriating man, who makes her question her beliefs, challenges her, has faith in her and is always _there,_ a voice of support, will win her heart. Emma knows it-but _believing_ it is another thing.

"This-" Emma whispers, hating herself a little for how breathless she sounds, her lips turning up into a smile. "This is not a contest, Hook."

He chuckles knowingly. "Isn't it? You're going to have to choose, Emma, you realize that, don't you; because neither one of us is going to give up."

Emma exhales loudly, struggles for control-control over her heart and emotions, tries not to let the little smile on his face and his proximity affect her and speaks. "The only thing I have to _choose_ , is the best way to get my son back."

"And you will." Hook says immediately, and that ever present confidence- _confidence in her_ -makes the blood rush to her cheeks.

"You think so?" Emma doesn't need validation, not from him, not from _anybody_ ; but it's just nice, having someone who believes in her unconditionally. Not even her parents have that kind of faith. Only Henry does, and now, Hook.

"I have yet to see you fail." There's absolute conviction in his voice and Emma thinks it's the greatest gift he could give her-even more than grand speeches and romantic declarations, because she just needs someone to _believe_ in her.

Emma steps closer and Hook does too, but he doesn't make a move after that, watching her. Waiting for her to take the first step. _Always a gentleman, indeed._ She places her hand on his chest, allowing her fingers to tangle lightly with his necklace as she leans up to press her lips against his.

It's nothing like their first kiss. This is sweet and chaste, which is odd because Emma Swan doesn't _do_ sweet and chaste. But there's something intoxicating in the way his lips move gently against hers, none of the passion and heat from before, but simply promises and belief and Emma _feels_ so much; that she thinks her chest might explode from it.

And she has no idea why it feels so right, because they aren't soulmates, they're technically breaking the laws of the universe, so it doesn't make sense.

(She doesn't really care, and she doesn't think he does, either.)

Emma breaks away and watches as Hook opens his eyes slowly, takes in a shaky gulp of air and then his mouth tugs into a smile as he looks down at her, joy and adoration in his gaze. Emma takes a step back and lets her hand drop, but she's unable to take her eyes off his smile.

"This-this wasn't-"

"I know," He interrupts, his voice subdued, but he's still smiling. "I know, love."

Neal comes back and nothing more is said about the matter.

(Still, the image of his smile haunts her for the rest of the trek.)


	5. chapter 5

__****

**colors of love**

**chapter five**

_Summary: A myriad of colors dance across her vision. It stops as soon as it starts, and then all she can see a deep, stormy shade of blue._

_It's the most beautiful thing she's ever seen._

_It's also the color of his eyes._

_Damnit!_

**_A CS soulmates!au._ **

* * *

As night approaches, Emma slumps down beside David, weary and exhausted. Leaning against a log, she closes her eyes for a moment, trying to ignore her father's concerned looks. When she opens them again, they land directly on Killian, on the other side of the fire, chatting casually with Tinkerbelle. He glances up and meets her gaze.

Emma looks away, feeling anger bubble up in her chest as she remembers what happened in Dark Hollow. Neal and Killian, those _idiots_ , had nearly gotten themselves killed fighting over a goddamn _lighter_ and thus nearly put the entire mission in jeopardy. It was by sheer luck that she managed to light the candle with her magic and capture Pan's shadow and save them. She should've never gone with them in the first place, Emma thinks darkly. They and their-their stupid rivalry. She's just about had enough.

(The blood in her veins runs cold when she remembers the shadow pinning Killian to the cave wall, trying to rip out his shadow. He had nearly died, and the panic had just been enough to rouse her magic and light the flame, _because she just couldn't lose him_.)

(The thought of what that implies makes her want to put up her walls and defenses again, because she's _just_ this close to falling.)

"You okay?" David's voice breaks her out of her thoughts.

Emma nods. "Yeah, just tired. Shouldn't I be the one asking you that, though? About the whole…dreamshade thing?" The reminder makes her wince, knowing that she's going to lose David, just as soon as she's found him. Damn this island, damn Peter Pan for kidnapping her son and putting her whole family in danger.

Guilt colors David's voice as he speaks. "I'm sorry I kept it from you."

"No, I get it," Emma shakes her head. "I would've done the same. Has Mary Margaret forgiven you, though?"

"Yeah, we've sorted it out."

Emma sighs in relief. Seeing her parents, the perfect fairy tale couple at odds with each other has been….disconcerting, to say the least. She's glad they made up.

Then something occurs to her.

"Wait, doesn't dreamshade kill you instantly? How come the only side effect is that you can't leave the island?"

David nods. "Right, I forget you didn't know. Do you remember when Hook and I went to look for the sextant?"

How _can_ she forget? She had been able to speak to Henry for the first time in ages…and there was also the kiss she had shared with Killian. Emma doesn't think she'll ever forget.

"Yeah."

"It was a ruse that Hook created. He actually took me up there to give me a cure-water from the spring of Neverland that cure any injury. He knew that I would never come otherwise. And since the powers of the water come from Neverland, I can never leave if I want to stay alive."

Emma looks back at Killian, her eyes widening slightly. She knows that he had saved David's life, she just hasn't expected him to go completely out of his way for a man he barely knows.

"Shocked, are you?" David asks wryly. "I was, too."

Emma continues to observe the pirate, who's listening to whatever Tinkerbelle has to say in silence, a small smirk on his face. Their conversation from before comes back to her.

" _Does that surprise you?"_

" _You are a pirate."_

"No," Emma says finally. "It doesn't surprise me at all."

David observes her for a while and Emma shifts uneasily. She doesn't like the look on his face-the knowing, slightly over protective expression that always appears when she even just stands next to Killian.

"You know, he had a brother," David says suddenly, so out of the blue, that Emma reels slightly.

"What? Who?"

"Hook. They used to serve in the Royal Navy together."

Emma snorts. "There's no way _Captain Hook_ was a straight laced navy boy."

"He was," David confirms with a grin. "His brother and him were sent here-to Neverland on a mission. They were told that the dreamshade was a medicine and were instructed to bring it back. Only, it turned out to be a deadly poison and Hook's brother ended up paying the price for it."

Emma's eyes widen in realization. "That's how he learned about the water."

"Yeah."

Emma stares at Killian, her mind spinning with this new information. Neverland is clearly a traumatic place for him-yet he came back, and is helping her save her son and has already saved her father's life.

He just keeps _coming back_.

No one has ever come back before.

And suddenly with a jolt, Emma realizes that she's been thinking of him not by his chosen moniker but by his actual name.

_Killian_.

* * *

 

Killian can hardly believe that they've finally done it, that they've rescued Henry and defeated Peter Pan, and are now back safely in Storybrooke.

Everyone is celebrating joyously in Granny's diner. Emma is sitting in a booth with her parents and Henry, clutching her son to her side as if she never wants to let him go, as if he'd disappear if she did. Killian watches her for a moment, before turning his gaze away as Neal comes to sit next to him.

"I'm in this for the long haul," He tells Neal, because he's not going to give up on Emma, doesn't want to because ever since she came into his life in a blaze of fire and glory, he can't imagine a world without her. Despite his confident words, his heart still sinks as Neal walks up to Emma and asks her out.

Killian leaves before he can hear her reply.

_Coward,_ He thinks darkly as he sits in the dark in the room he rented at the inn, running his thumb over the rim of his flask. _Giving up so easily_?

But he can't break up another family. He doesn't want to have that kind of guilt on his conscience. Doesn't want to make the same mistake again. So unless Emma says otherwise, he's not going to make another move.

Killian leaves the room in the morning and bumps into Tinkerbelle as he heads down the hallway into the diner.

"You okay?" Tink asks in concern as she takes in the shadows under his eyes. Killian looks away and nods with a forced smile.

"Fine, love." Satisfied with his answer, Tink begins to walk away.

_Oh, hell_.

Killian stops her. "But the question is, are you?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, I know that Storybrooke can be a disorienting place until you get used to it," Killian puts on his best, charming smile. "Perhaps a drink, to help settle you in?"

Tink crosses her arms defensively and gives him a sardonic smile. "We both know you want more than a drink. You want me to help take your mind off Emma."

_Bloody hell, is he that obvious?_ Killian takes a step closer. "Emma? Who's Emma? I only see you."

"I may have lost my wings, but I haven't lost my dignity," Tink snaps. "That's never going to happen! I know better than to get…..involved with a man who is in love with another woman."

"Tink…" Killian protests. He _knows_ he's in love with Emma, of course, but he's never actually spoken the words out loud. Hearing them now, and from an old friend no less is deterring. Tink rolls her eyes at his protest.

"It's obvious to _everyone_ ," She says exasperatedly. "Have you told her how you feel?"

"I thought you weren't a fairy anymore, so why are you trying your hand at matchmaking?"

"Answer the damn question, Hook."

"She knows how I feel, alright?"

Tink frowns. "Then what's the problem?"

Before Killian can reply, there's a loud scream from outside. He exchanges a glance with Tink and they quickly run out of the back entrance, just as David's truck pulls up.

Emma gets out, followed by David, and looks around warily. "The hell was that?"

"I have the same question," Killian mutters. Emma stares at him for a moment and then notices Tink. Her eyes narrow- _in jealousy_ , Killian realizes with a jolt-as she glances between them.

"Wait, were you two…..?" Emma trails off and Tink looks horrified.

" _No_!"

"Perhaps," Killian cuts in, unable to resist goading Emma a bit. There's another scream and Emma glances briefly at him before taking off in the direction. Killian follows, and wonders vaguely if he'll ever stop chasing this woman.

* * *

 

Emma really should've known better than to just assume that everything was fine.

First Pan swapped bodies with Henry and sent his shadow to kill everyone. Thankfully, the shadow was captured again and Henry was back in his own body. Rumplestilkskin killed Pan, sacrificing himself in his process.

But Pan had cast the Dark Curse.

Regina is able to stop it, only everyone will go back to the Enchanted Forest and Storybrooke will vanish. Everyone will go back….except for those who haven't been born there.

Henry wasn't born in the Enchanted Forest.

Emma is the only one who can escape the curse, since she's the Savior. She can go with Henry and build a new life with him.

But she's going to lose her family. She's going to lose them just as soon as she found them, and it's _too much to bear_.

And as the curse looms over them, Emma hugs David and Mary Margaret, choking back tears as she does, trying to remain strong for Henry.

It seems like an eternity passes, but she finally pulls away and leaves Henry to say his final goodbyes as she walks towards her car, waiting at the town line.

Killian approaches her then, and Emma can feel the tears coming back in full force, as she looks at him, and thinks about how she was alone her whole life and now she's found her family. She has a whole town of people who care about her. And she has _him_. He's-he's her best friend and she could've had something more but now she never will. She's going to lose all of that.

_It's not fair_.

Killian shakes his head in the direction of her car and attempts a smile. "That's quite the vessel you captain there, Swan."

Emma tries to smile back but then the tears come faster. "Hook," She struggles, a lump forming in her throat. "Hook, I-"

"Hey," He reaches out and takes her hand in his. "Don't say anything, Swan. It's alright."

_But it's not,_ Emma wants to yell at him. How can he remain so calm, even in a moment like this?

There's pain in his eyes, though. It's carefully masked, but Emma can see it there, lingering in the shadows. He has walls too, but he's better at hiding them.

Killian lifts her hand to his lips gently and presses a kiss to her knuckles, closing his eyes for a moment in reverence. Finally, he opens them and meets her gaze. "There's not a day will go by I won't think of you."

"Good." Emma breathes, so much emotion in that one word, and she wonders if he can hear the unspoken words hanging between them. Killian smiles then, a beautiful, _true_ smile and his hand tightens around hers, just a bit.

Then he's letting go, walking away slowly. Emma watches him go, the warmth of his kiss and touch turning into a chilling, numbing cold as she thinks _I'm never going to see him again_.

Regina comes to her then, and explains that she and Henry will lose all memory of Storybrooke once they cross the town line. Emma can only nod and accept it. Part of her, the selfish part, is glad, because now that she doesn't have to live with the knowledge that she had a family and lost them. And part of her is upset, because maybe, just maybe, the memories might be better than nothing.

But now, she'll never know.

Emma climbs into the car with Henry and for a minute, grips the steering wheel and tries to hang on to her memories as much as possible, memories of her parents, of Storybrooke, of Killian.

Then she drives over the town line and everything fades away.

* * *

 

One year passes.

One year of sailing the realms with his crew. One year of going back to being a pirate. One year of _not_ being a hero. One year of being separated from Emma.

And Killian just feels _empty_.

He thought he could do it. He thought he could go back to his old villainous ways, act as if nothing ever happened. Act as if he never met a beautiful, fierce woman who inspired him to be a better man, who made him feel like he could be more than just a pirate.

_I'm a fool_ , Killian thinks morosely, not for the first time, as he grips the helm of the ship.

His crew has noticed that something is different. That he hesitates now before giving a command that could potentially hurt someone, that he never seeks out the women in the tavern, that he spends more time in his cabin than celebrating their latest mission with the crew. They don't dare to say a word, of course, but they notice.

Killian thought that getting back the Jolly Roger would fill the hole in his heart. Instead, it only made him feel worse. Betraying Ariel for the sake of his ship left a bitter taste in his mouth and he still feels immensely guilty over it, wishes he could turn back time and give Blackbeard the damn ship so Eric could be rescued. But it's too late now.

He thinks of Emma every day, true to his word to her. Killian knows he couldn't stop thinking about her if he tried-such a feat is impossible. A woman like that _can't_ be forgotten-she's seared into his memory for the rest of his life. He will never forget her and he will never stop loving her.

Killian finds himself sketching her portrait a few times-and no matter how hard he tries, he feels like he can never get it right. Never draw the curve of her jaw exactly as it is, never able to capture her fiery eyes, never able to make her smile look _real_.

He still does it, anyway. It's torture, but he can't stop.

(He's never going to get over her.)

And then after one year, it all comes to an end.

They are weighing anchor in the docks when a bird lands on the helm. A message is tied to its leg, along with a vial of blue colored liquid.

"Looks like a message for you, sir," His first mate comments. Killian gently unties the note and vial and wonders absently if it's from the Lady Snow, given her way with birds and other woodland creatures.

He reads the message and his heart beats fast at the words.

There is a new curse. The message instructs Killian to find Emma, because she's the only hope.

_Find Emma._

_Find Emma._

**_Find Emma._ **

Killian doesn't even finish reading the rest of the message before his mind is made up.

There's dark, purple green clouds approaching them from Misthaven. Once his crew has disembarked, Killian takes command of the Jolly Roger and sails as fast as he can till he outruns it. When he looks back, the land has been swallowed by the curse, him having escaped by a hair's breadth.

Now the next step is to find a portal to the Land Without Magic.

After making some enquiries in the nearest port, Killian enters a tavern where Blackbeard is said to be gathering a new crew. When the other pirate spots him, a distasteful sneer appears on his face.

"Well, if it isn't Captain Hook," He snarls, still angry over their altercation from before. "Come to finish what we started?"

"If I remember correctly, I already finished it by besting you," Killian says lightly. When Blackbeard reaches for his sword with a growl, Killian raises his hands. "I'm not here to fight."

"Then why _are_ you here?"

"I've heard you're in possession of a magic bean. I need it."

Blackbeard snorts. "Oh? Are you going to duel me for it?"

"No," Killian says. "I have a much sweeter deal. The Jolly Roger, for the bean. What do you say?"

Blackbeard stares at him in disbelief. "Just a year ago, you refused to give up your ship for that friend of yours," Killian winces at the reminder of Ariel. "And now you suddenly want to do it? For what purpose do you want a magic bean so badly?"

Killian clenches his fist. "The family of the woman I love is in danger," He says lowly. It's the first time he's spoken the words out loud. "I need to find her."

Blackbeard laughs cruelly. "A woman! I knew you'd gone soft, Hook."

Killian snarls. "Are you going to give me the damn bean or not?"

Blackbeard rolls his eyes. "The bean's all yours," He tosses a pouch at him. "Where's the Jolly?"

"In the port," The next words taste bitter on Killian's lips. "She's all yours."

As Killian strides out of the tavern, he catches a glimpse of his ship and swallows. For centuries, she had been his home. But now, when the word home comes to mind, all he can think of is Emma Swan.

He tosses the bean to the ground and watches as a crimson portal appears. Stepping into the portal, thinking of Emma and of _home_ , he whispers a few immortal words under his breath.

"I will find you, Swan. I will always find you."

And as he speaks them, something in the universe shifts.

* * *

 

Emma loves her life.

After a fire destroyed their apartment in Boston, she and Henry have been living peacefully in New York. And in that one year they lived there, Emma's life has been nothing short of perfect. A smart, talented son; a loving boyfriend, a job she loves…..what more can anyone ask for?

But something is off.

Emma has never met her soulmate . Until the past year, the world has been black and white. And it _continues_ to be black and white-only there have been little splotches of color now and then. She thinks she can see color when Henry gives her a hug and a casual "Love you, mom." She thinks she can see color when she looks at her baby blanket, the only thing she has of her parents. It happens now and then, mostly when she least expects it.

And it's crazy, because she's never met her soulmate.

Then one day, there's a knock at the door.

Emma opens the door and instantly staggers backwards as her vision almost goes _white_. She shuts her eyes for a beat, tries to get a hold of herself, and then when she opens them…

Suddenly, the world is colorful.

And there's a stranger standing there-her soulmate-and he has eyes like the sea and is dressed like a _pirate_ and he's saying something, something about her family, and Emma can't breathe, can't speak because she _just met her soulmate_.

"Look, I know you can't remember me but-" He swallows, almost nervously. "I can make you."

And before Emma can react he's stepping forward and cupping the back of her head as he presses his lips against hers. Her eyes fall closed for a minute. He tastes like rum and the sea and this feels so familiar and _what the hell is she doing?_

She kicks him away and he slumps against the wall, groaning from the pain of her blow. Emma clings to the door, feeling strangely lightheaded. "The hell are you doing?" She gasps.

"Long shot," He mutters. "I had to try. I hoped you felt as I did."

"The only thing you're gonna feel is the handcuffs when I have the police arrest you," Emma shoots back. He tries to protest, says something about her family, but she quickly slams the door in his face and thinks that that's the end of it.

* * *

It isn't.

Her soulmate shows up again and again, talking about how she actually has _parents_ , and about curses and lost memories and a town called Storybrooke of all things and that she's actually a Savior-whatever that is.

It's crazy.

But something about the earnest way he speaks of these things makes her want to believe him.

The weird thing? He hasn't mentioned them being soulmates even once.

_Not once_.

Once she has him arrested, she is determined to put it behind her. But Emma can't stop thinking about him, about the things he said, and how he seemed to genuinely believe what he said.

So she bails him out, wanting more answers.

He talks for a few minutes outside the police station and shows her a vial of blue colored liquid. "This will bring back your memories," He insists. "Trust your gut, Swan, it will tell you what to do."

Emma's eyes widen at his words. "Henry always says that."

"Then if you won't listen to me, listen to your boy."

Emma pauses. "You said that we have met before."

"Aye."

"But that's not possible!" Emma explodes. "You're my _soulmate_ , and I saw colors for the first time when you showed up at my apartment, so how the hell could we have met before?"

He stops, looking flummoxed. "Love, no-" He stumbles. "That isn't-we aren't soulmates."

"How do you explain me being able to see colors then?"

He sighs and holds out the potion. "Just drink this, love. Everything will make sense."

Emma eyes him warily and then takes the vial. Closing her eyes, she downs it in one go.

For a minute, nothing happens. And then-

_Prison. Giving Henry up for adoption. Her 28_ _th_ _birthday. A wish upon a blue star. Henry. Storybrooke. Mary Margaret. David Nolan. The storybook. The clock tower. Graham. Henry taking a bite out of an apple turnover and collapsing. True love's kiss. The Evil Queen. Rumplestilkskin. The Enchanted Forest. A beanstalk and a compass. A giant. Neal. The Jolly Roger. Neverland. Peter Pan. Dreamshade. Tinkerbelle. Coming home to Storybrooke. Pan's curse. And-_

Emma opens her eyes and sees _him_ , waiting with bated breath for whatever she has to say, as if the fate of the world rests upon that.

" _Hook_ ," Emma breathes and doesn't get another word out, because he's suddenly hugging her, his face buried in her hair, and she thinks she hears him murmur a quiet, broken, _"My love_. _"_

And normally such an endearment would make her want to run as far as possible, but now she hugs him back, because he feels like the only thing in the world that makes sense.

"You found me," Emma murmurs and later she'll laugh at herself for those words, they sound so cheesy, like something her parents would say- _oh God she has parents_ -but now it's all that she can say.

His reply makes her breath hitch and the blood rush to her cheeks.

" _Always_."


	6. chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you all for your continued support on this fic! Please comment, guys! I hope you all like this chapter. There's only one more left.

~~~~

**colors of love**

**chapter six**

_Summary: A myriad of colors dance across her vision. It stops as soon as it starts, and then all she can see a deep, stormy shade of blue._

_It's the most beautiful thing she's ever seen._

_It's also the color of his eyes._

_Damnit!_

_**A CS soulmates!au.** _

Killian goes with Emma to her apartment and they share a drink as he explains what happened (that he knows of) in the past year. Emma listens and adds her own comments here and there, but apart from that, she seems rather tired and despondent. Part of Killian feels guilty that she's feeling this way, guilty that he took her away from her perfect life, but another selfish part is glad, glad that he can see her face again, when he thought it was impossible.

Then Emma's fiancé, Walsh shows up.

As the two of them go up to the roof to talk, Killian grabs the bottle of rum and fills his glass again, his heart breaking at the notion that Emma has found love with someone else. He knows he should be happy for her, happy that's she's let down her walls, but he's also so undeniably _jealous_.

Suddenly, there's a crash from upstairs. Killian gets up in panic and quickly follows the noise, his heart beating fast at the thought that Emma might be in danger.

He finds her on the roof top alone, her fiancé missing. She's gripping a metal pipe in her hands, breathing heavily, eyes wide in shock.

"Swan, what in the blazes was that?!"

"A reminder," Emma says flatly. "That I was never safe. That what I wanted-what I thought I could have was not in the cards for the Savior."

Killian simply stares at her, his heart aching at her words.

"We leave in the morning," Emma says and strides past him.

Killian isn't going to let it go so easily.

Following her into the apartment, Killian prods her for answers. "Swan, what happened? And where's your fiancé?"

Emma slumps into a chair and sighs loudly. "Walsh, he-he attacked me and then turned into a flying monkey."

"A flying monkey," Killian repeats, even as he scans Emma's body for injuries. There are none, thankfully.

"Yeah. I think he was spying on me for someone, probably whoever cast the curse," Emma lets out a bitter laugh. "I should have known. No one is ever who they say they are."

"Swan-" Killian begins, unsure how to comfort her, not knowing what to say to make things better. The little device that the people of this realm carry around suddenly vibrates, then, interrupting him.

Emma looks at it and her eyes widen. "Henry's on his way back."

"I thought you said he was spending the night with a friend?"

"They must've had a fight or something," There's a knock at the door and Emma pales. "Oh no, he's already here."

She quickly ushers Killian into her bedroom, shutting the door with a command to stay put. Killian stands awkwardly in the middle of the room, unsure of what to do, as voices fill the hallway.

Finally Emma returns, looking harried as she closes the door and leans against it. "He's gone to bed," She says and Killian sighs in relief.

"I'll sneak out, then." Before he can leave, Emma quickly stops him.

"Wait, where have you been sleeping?"

"In Central Park."

Emma looks concerned at his words. "You can't sleep there, it's dangerous."

"I can handle myself, love," Killian tries to reassure her. "Besides, I can hardly stay here."

Emma looks torn for a minute before she makes up her mind. "Yes, you can," she says decisively. "As long as you leave the apartment before Henry wakes up, it will be fine."

"Swan, I'm not sure that's appro-"

Emma rolls her eyes. "We're two adults, we can share a bed. Just stick to your side and I'll stick to mine."

And as it turns out, they don't end up sticking to their sides of the bed.

Killian wakes at dawn to find Emma pressed into his side, her face buried in his chest as she sleeps peacefully. He freezes up for a moment, coming to the conclusion that they must've sought out each other for warmth in the night. He knows he has to leave soon, but he's afraid to move in fear of waking her. He also wants to stay like this a little longer, cloak himself in her warmth and intoxicating scent. She looks so much younger and innocent in her sleep and he could watch her like this forever, but he has to get up.

Killian gently untangles himself from her and can't help his affectionate smile when Emma's brow furrows and she whimpers slightly at the loss of warmth. He quickly draws the sheets over her until they cover her chin and feels an incredible urge to press a kiss to her hair.

And on that note, he'd better leave.

* * *

Storybrooke is back, along with the residents of the Enchanted Forest. They've been cursed again, with no memory of the past year and. So much is going on right now-Mary Margaret is pregnant, Neal is missing, people are turning into flying monkeys and the latest villain is the Wicked Witch of the West.

_Same old Storybrooke, eh_ , Emma thinks sardonically.

They're all looking for any clues that might lead them to the Wicked Witch. Henry doesn't have his memories back, so Emma has to be careful to not say anything that might get him suspicious. He thinks she's here because of a job and so far hasn't asked any questions. Emma knows it won't stay that way for long, so she's determined to get this over with and hopefully go back to New York when it's done.

After a long day of searching, Emma stands near the docks, needing a quiet moment to herself among the chaos. Henry is at Granny's with her parents and Emma has to join them soon, but she finds herself lingering. She's always loved the sea and in a time of distress, she finds it calming.

Footsteps sound as Killian joins her. Emma doesn't address him. They stand in silence for a few minutes before he speaks.

"When were you going to tell me?"

It's the first time he's brought up the topic of them being soulmates. The new revelation has been hanging over them like a heavy cloud, even more so earlier that day when they were trekking through the woods, trying to find the witch's hideout.

" _You're glad to hear I got my heart broken?"_

" _If it can be broken, means it still works."_

"I wasn't planning to," Emma admits. There's no point in lying to him, he knows her far too well for that. Killian exhales.

"I should've known as much," He mutters. "I just don't understand how it's possible, though. I've never heard of anything like it."

"You come from a world where everyone is guaranteed a happy ending," Emma reminds him. "In this world, there's no such thing as a happy ending. Things like unrequited soulmates do exist."

Killian remains silent for a while before he speaks. "Not everyone is guaranteed such, love," He says quietly. "Villains don't get happy endings."

Emma watches him-observes the pain in his gaze and centuries' worth of guilt and wonders, what is he hiding from her, what happened during the past year. But she doesn't want to push-he shouldn't tell her unless he wants to.

"…..you're not a villain anymore," Emma says lowly. "I don't see you as one anyway, _Killian_."

His gaze snaps to hers, and Emma realizes that he thinks she's been calling him by his given moniker for Henry's sake. He couldn't be more wrong. In her mind, he's been Killian ever since before they came back to Storybrooke.

"This doesn't change anything," Killian says finally. "I don't care if you're not my soulmate, love-it doesn't change my feelings for you."

Emma is tongue tied for a moment. She can't understand how he can be so fearless when it comes to laying his heart bare. First in the Echo Caves, then in New York when he attempted true love's kiss and now. She's the exact opposite, always running from her feelings and never confronting them before it's too late.

She can't understand it, but she gives him the only answer she can.

"Good," Emma murmurs and Killian smiles.

* * *

Killian strides down Main Street, desperate to get to the docks, so he can clear his head and be blissfully away from the rest of the town, when he passes Granny's. He intends to pass the diner by, but upon hearing the laughter and music coming from it, he stops short.

He observes them-Emma and her family-with his spyglass for a few moments before lowering it. He had been invited to this dinner, yes, but declined. He can't afford to be around them right now. Not what after happened with Ariel, no, Zelena, he can't.

When Ariel showed up in Storybrooke and enlisted his help to find Eric, Killian felt the weight of his guilt from the past year come crashing down upon him. In the end he was unable to keep the truth from her and confessed his actions from the past year. The slap across the face Ariel gave him was well deserved, as was her declaration that she couldn't trust. (Who would trust a pirate?)

But then Ariel had seen it fit to forgive him if he swore an oath of loyalty. Killian blindly jumped at the chance, not considering any repercussions.

" _This woman, who broke your heart…do you still love her?"_

" _Yes."_

" _Then swear it to me on her name."_

" _I swear on Emma Swan."_

Instantly, his fate was sealed.

Ariel transformed into Zelena, who took the words he spoke and turned them into a twisted curse, designed to rid Emma of her magic.

" _The next time your lips touch Emma Swan's, all of her magic will be taken_. _"_

And now Killian is unable to even tell Emma what had happened, thanks to Zelena threatening her entire family. Just when Emma is starting to let him in, just when he thinks that he might finally be a part of something, all of it is being ripped from him.

He has to stay away from her, there's no other option. He would rather die than see her magic taken away. Her magic is part of her, something special and powerful and Killian will be damned if she loses it because of him.

He is poison, and if he wants her to be safe, he has to stay away.

* * *

Killian is in the lounge at the inn, nursing his flask of rum when Emma and Henry enter. He almost jumps at their unexpected presence, and curses inwardly, wishing he had retired to his room instead.

"Hey Killian!" Henry greets him brightly, and he's so much like Baelfire that it _aches_. "Why weren't you at the party tonight?"

Killian glances briefly at Emma. She's standing behind Henry, smiling lightly, a brow quirked. Returning his attention to the boy he smiles disarmingly. "I didn't feel like it, lad."

"You should join us next time," Henry says. "Oh, and maybe we could spend a day together again-you can finish teaching me how to cheat at dice."

Emma raises her eyebrows. "What's this now?"

"Uh, I'll head up to the room," Henry deflects quickly, a smirk stretched out on his face. "Night, Killian!"

When he disappears up the steps, Emma shakes her head in exasperation and her expression sobers when she looks at Killian. "You okay?" She asks hesitantly. "You seem off."

Killian gets up quickly. "I'm fine, love," His tone is curt and he feels immensely guilty when her face falls. "It-It's just been a long day." He amends, softening his voice.

"Oh," Emma blinks. "Well, uh, if you need to talk, you know where I am."

Killian smiles tightly. "I appreciate the offer, lass. But I must be off to bed now."

"Goodnight," Emma says, still sounding a bit confused. Killian nods in response and leaves, feeling his heart hurt at even the notion of pushing her away.

He's not sure how much of this he can take anymore.

* * *

Killian is acting strangely.

It's been subtle, but Emma can't help but notice it. He's withdrawing from her, keeping any interaction to a minimum and all of his flirtation and friendly banter has come to an abrupt halt. He seems to be the same with David and Mary Margaret and Regina and everyone else, but when it comes to Emma, he's distant.

And it _hurts_.

As weird as it is, Killian's the best friend Emma's got, and she keeps wondering, why he's avoiding her and if she did something wrong to drive him away. Has he finally lost interest in her? But it has been less than a week since he told her that soulmates or not, his feelings aren't going to change. So what's the problem? As much as Emma tries, she can't come up with any reasonable explanation for his behavior.

After the séance to summon Cora's ghost doesn't work out, David, Killian and Emma leave Regina's house together. "Granny's is empty now," Emma tells David. "I'll go there and practice my magic." She turns to Killian. "You should come along."

Killian looks uncomfortable. "Perhaps I would be of more assistance in the library…"

"Belle already has Ruby helping out and David is going there now. It'll be fine."

He finally agrees and they part ways with David and head to the diner.

As Emma makes herself a mug of hot chocolate and places it on the counter, she glances over her shoulder at Killian, who is sitting in a booth with a book opened in front of him, with a frown. She didn't notice it before, but he looks _tired_. There are dark shadows under his eyes, his hair is even messier than usual and his eyes aren't as bright as normal.

Just what the hell is going on with him?

Sitting at the counter, Emma squeezes her eyes shut as she tries to use her magic to transport the hot chocolate. Her thoughts eventually drift to Killian again. He had been all moody and brooding at séance, without any of his usual quips or comments at the ready. When she had reached out to hold on to the brace covering his left arm, he'd flinched and almost pulled away, shame and self-disgust in his eyes.

(Emma had pressed down firmly, wanting him to know she was fine with him as he was.)

(It scares her, how much she wants him to know that she cares for him.)

There's a _whooshing_ sound and Emma's eyes fly open, her lips pulling into a grin when she sees that the hot chocolate has disappeared.

"Boom!" She smacks the counter triumphantly and spins around to Killian, her smile only widening when she sees the hot chocolate perched on top of his book. "Granny's to go. I should start a franchise."

"Quite impressive, Swan," Killian says lowly, his eyes flickering to meet hers when she slides into the seat facing him.

"You wanna see something _really_ impressive?" Emma asks with a raised brow, lips stretched into a flirtatious smile. Normally, he'd have a salacious smirk or an innuendo at the ready, but now Killian just looks at her expectantly.

Emma summons up her magic (tries not to think about how _easily_ it comes when she's with him, when she's thinking about him, when she has that urge to make him smile-) gives a flick of her wrist. Killian looks at her for a moment, confused, then looks down at his empty brace and then at the lamp where the hook is hanging off. Instead of the smile she expected at her light teasing, his mouth pulls into a scowl as he gets up to retrieve the appendage.

"It's bad form, Swan, messing with a man's hook." Killian all but growls.

"Okay, seriously, what is up with you?" There's still laughter in Emma's voice, but more confusion and definitely more than a little hurt at his harshness. Killian glances at her as he re-attaches his hook and sighs.

"I apologize for my rudeness," He sits back down and takes a swig from his flask. "It's a long story, too long for now."

Emma looks down at the table, fidgeting a bit. She can't understand why he just won't open up to her , every once in a while. She's already found herself opening up to him, because he just _understands_ , and he's safe to talk to. Surely he realizes it's the same with her. They're kindred spirits, after all and more importantly, they're friends. That's what friends do, right? So why won't he just _talk_ to her?

(Why does it bother her so much?)

(Maybe she's starting to care for him, not just as a friend, but as-)

"Okay," Emma says quietly. "Whatever's bothering you, it must be-" But she never finishes her sentence because Belle interrupts them at that moment.

He doesn't tell her.

* * *

Emma is furious.

Furious at Killian for not telling her the truth about what Zelena did to him. Furious at _Zelena_ for even cursing his lips in the first place and endangering her whole family. And furious at herself for not getting the truth out of Killian sooner, for knowing something was wrong and not getting answers.

Part of her knows that her anger is irrational, knows that he was only trying to protect her and Henry. But it doesn't change the fact that he put her son in danger, accidentally or not; nor does it change the fact that he lied to her.

He's never lied to her before.

And now there are bigger problems, like Zelena wanting Mary Margaret's baby, and Mary Margaret going into labor, which has the hospital on full lockdown with Regina and David standing guard. Zelena needs to be found and defeated before she can get anywhere near the baby and Emma is the only one who can do it at this point.

David, surprisingly, insists on Killian going with her. For once, he's the one defending Killian, saying that Zelena had backed him into a corner. Emma knows he's right.

She's still mad, though.

But even as they make their way to the farmhouse together, Emma finds herself opening up again.

"I never should've brought Henry back to Storybrooke."

"You did what you thought was right, Swan." Killian says instantly, ever the voice of reason.

"I did what _you_ manipulated me into," Emma shoots back and she knows she's being unfair, knows that she came back to Storybrooke of her own free will, but she's tired and angry and needs to lash out at someone.

"Your parents needed you, Swan," Killian protests. "The town needed you."

"Henry also needed me," Emma says, cutting him off before he can say anything else. "We were happy in New York. Once we're done melting this witch, I'd like us to be happy again."

"You know, as content as you were in that city, it wasn't real," Killian all but snaps at her.

Emma glances at him and looks away quickly as she continues to trudge forward. "It was real for me, for him. Everything that happened, happened."

"That part of you isn't the _real_ you," Killian insists. "And like it or not, the big part of you and Henry belongs in this town."

"That's the part of us that's always in danger."

"Well, what does the boy think?"

Emma shoots him a disbelieving look. "He's a kid, he wants chocolate milk in his cereal. I'm his mother, I know what's best for him."

"What's best for him, or for you?" Killian stops walking and turns to her, blocking her path.

Emma swallows, startled by his perception but does her best to sound affronted anyway. "Excuse me?"

Killian sighs and follows her as she walks away. "You've been taking care of the boy quite well, I hear. You can talk about danger all your life, but it isn't that. So tell me," He stops again, and looks her in the eye. "Why are you so scared of staying?" When she doesn't respond, he presses some more. "I think it's because you can see a future here. A happy one."

Emma finally meets his gaze, her lips pulling into a wry smile. "Let me guess, with you?"

Before Killian can answer, there are footsteps and Zelena approaches them, followed by Mr. Gold. "Aww," She coos, a smirk on her face. "You two are so adorable. But instead of looking for each other, maybe you should be focused on me. Although, without magic, that could prove to be a challenge."

"Next time you try taking my magic away, try enchanting the lips of someone I'll actually kiss," Emma retorts, knowing the words are a lie, but this witch is getting under her skin too easily, and has sensed her weakness with little effort, too.

And Emma can't afford to show any weakness. Not if she wants the people she cares about to be safe.

Zelena sighs, as if Emma's the one inconveniencing her. "See, Emma, you've got a decision to make. You can keep your magic, which makes you oh so sad…or you can save the man you can't wait to run away from."

Emma frowns. What could she possibly-

Zelena turns to Gold and gives him a single command, and with a flick of the wizard's wrist, Killian's body is suddenly suspended mid-air, and then flying into the well next to the storm cellar.

"Hook!" Emma screams and runs towards the well, grabbing onto his coat as she tries to pull him out. Gold holds him down with magic, however, making sure his face is completely submerged.

"Choose wisely," Zelena taunts. "Try all you like, you can't free him."

Then in a puff of emerald smoke, they're gone. The force holding Killian down vanishes, and Emma is able to pull him out and lay him on the ground.

His body is still, completely unmoving. Emma's blood runs cold and she grabs his shoulders, shaking him desperately. "Hook! Hook, wake up!"

No. This can't be happening. He can't be dead. No, this has to be some kind of mistake, but why won't he move? Why won't he open his eyes? " _Killian_!" Emma cries, feeling her body tremble in fear. "Killian, come back to me!"

She has to revive him. Emma pauses for a moment as she remembers the curse. If she gives revives him, her magic will be taken away, and the town will have no defense against Zelena.

But if she doesn't he'll die, and he _can't die_ , she can't let him, she _loves_ him-

Determination rocks through Emma as she cups his face in her hands and lowers her head. She _won't_ let him die.

Her magic be damned.

The town be damned.

* * *

It's a terrible feeling, being plunged into ice cold water, during fall. Even more so terrible is the force holding Killian down, giving him no reprieve from the water that quickly fills his lungs, allowing him no oxygen. He can faintly hear Emma calling his name, her voice tinged with panic, over Zelena's taunts.

Then everything goes black.

Later, when Killian relives it, he thinks he might have died for a few moments, because he is absolutely certain that he wasn't breathing, that his heartbeat was slowing down, that his body was turning ice cold.

But he'll never be completely sure.

Because suddenly, there's light, blinding light that pushes away the darkness and he hears a voice, _her_ voice whisper.

" _Come back to me_. _"_

And then there's air being breathed into his lungs and Killian's eyes fly open and he quickly turns to the side and coughs up the remaining water. His vision is blurry for a few seconds, and then he sees her, sees Emma, hovering above him, sighing in relief, her eyes shining with unshed tears.

The realization hits him like a ton of bricks, and Killian slowly raises his hand to his lips, eyes widening in panic. "Swan, what did you do? What did you do?"

Emma doesn't answer for a minute, seeming to be more concerned with helping him sit up and blinking away the tears in her eyes. When she finally does, her voice is light and casual. "I saved your life, duh."

"No," Killian is in denial, shaking his head frantically because _no_ , she couldn't have- "No, Swan. You shouldn't have done it, you should've let me die-"

" _Shut up!_ "

Killian reels at her outburst, startled by the sheer amount of fury in her voice. Emma leans into him, gripping the lapels of his coat so fiercely that he can see her knuckles whiten.

"Don't say something like that, you stupid, self-loathing, _idiot_!" She hisses out, her forehead almost touching his, her breath fanning over his lips. "Do you honestly think my magic means more to me than your _life_?! Well think again, buddy, because I'd gladly do it a thousand times over!"

Killian stares at her-this beautiful, amazing woman, who just admitted that she would rather give up a part of herself than watch him die, said it as if it were so _easy_ and feels himself fall in love with her even deeply than before.

_Gods,_ he loves her.

Emma sniffs a little and wipes away the few tears that slipped down her cheeks. Slowly getting to her feet, she helps him stand as well. "Are you alright?" She asks awkwardly. "Maybe you should rest a while-"

Killian shakes his head resolutely. "No, Swan, we should get back to the hospital. We have to tell the others what happened."

Emma blinks, and then nods. "Yeah, we should. Let's go."

They turn back the way they came and it's only when they're halfway across, that Killian realizes that she hasn't let go of his hand.


	7. chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your support on this fic! I'll see you guys in my next story! Comment one last time?

**colors of love**

**chapter seven**

_Summary: A myriad of colors dance across her vision. It stops as soon as it starts, and then all she can see a deep, stormy shade of blue._

_It's the most beautiful thing she's ever seen._

_It's also the color of his eyes._

_Damnit!_

**_A CS soulmates!au_ **

Zelena is finally defeated. A few days later, Emma heads down to Granny's with Henry for a victory party, of sorts. Since Henry has gotten back his memories, they moved back into the loft with Mary Margaret and David. Emma is unsure about when to break the news to Henry, that she doesn't intend to stay in Storybrooke for much longer, that she wants them to pack up and move back to New York. She knows he won't take it well, but she hopes he'll see things her way after thinking it over.

" _I think it's because you can see a future here, a happy one."_

Emma scowls at the reminder of Killian's words. That man has an annoying habit of getting into her head. He's not right, she tries to tell herself. She's just concerned for Henry's safety. And staying in Storybrooke, and fighting monsters and villains all the time…it's exhausting. But Emma is _not_ scared. There's no reason to be.

As they enter the diner, they're instantly greeted with cheers and applause. Henry grins around at everyone widely, while Emma's smiles are forced. She's never liked being the centre of attention.

Henry runs ahead to sit with her parents. Emma is about to follow, when she notices Killian sitting at the counter, chatting casually with Ruby. A smile tugs at her lips when she goes over to join them.

"Hello, love," Killian greets her cheerfully. Ruby excuses herself immediately, but not before sending Emma a not-so-discreet wink and thumbs up. Emma rolls her eyes at her friend's antics before turning to Killian.

"Hey," She greets, suddenly feeling a little shy. It's _stupid_ , everything is the same between them as before. There's no reason to be feeling like this.

Except for the fact that she's realized that she's in love with him.

There's also that.

"So, have you seen the baby yet?" Emma asks, trying to distract herself.

"Aye, I came to the loft yesterday," Emma frowns, not able to remember if he came or not. Killian chuckles at her puzzled expression. "It was while you were at the Sheriff's station, love."

"Oh," Emma nods and when he takes out his flask, she immediately holds out her hand expectantly. "Give that here."

Killian lets out a little affectionate laugh that makes her feel warm all over and surrenders the flask. "Not very befitting of a princess, Swan," He says teasingly.

"Not a princess," Emma grumbles and Killian rolls his eyes in a _sure, whatever helps you sleep at night, Swan,_ way.

Emma raises her eyebrows at this but decides to dismiss it as something else occurs to her. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Did you ever meet them?" Emma asks hesitantly. "Your soulmate, I mean?"

Killian looks tense at her question, but then he sighs and nods. "Aye, I did."

Emma feels her heart sink at his answer. "Oh. When?"

"It was before the Dark Curse," Killian says slowly. "I-I don't remember her, to be honest."

"How can you not remember your own _soulmate_?" Emma asks in disbelief.

Killian shrugs helplessly. "I have no idea. I think I was extremely inebriated that night. That, and I apparently got into a fight, because I when I woke up I looked like I'd been punched in the face."

Emma laughs. "I can't believe you were so drunk you couldn't remember your own soulmate. Not even a name?"

"Afraid not."

Emma can't help the little burst of relief she feels at that and quickly tries to push it away. After all, whoever it was that is Killian's soulmate might've come over to Storybrooke with the curse. And she had no business feeling glad that Killian hadn't met his true love anyway. That was just _wrong_.

"Perhaps we should join your parents, Swan," Killian says, breaking her out of her thoughts. "They're sending us some very pointed looks."

Emma nods. "Alright, let's go."

And anyway, she is leaving Storybrooke soon. Feeling or no feelings, there isn't going to be anything happening between her and Killian. And that's for the best.

* * *

 

"Don't you even care about them….or anyone, in this town?" Killian asks, trying to hide the crack in his voice when he speaks the words. He's careful to leave himself out of the equation, not wanting to overstep, not wanting her to run again. He knows that Emma's feelings for him go beyond platonic; he's just not sure if it's love, yet. He promised to win her heart in Neverland, but if she leaves Storybrooke now, he'll never get the chance. And she _can't_ leave-she can't leave her family and friends behind so quickly, not after she's just found them. Killian wonders just _what_ it would take, for her to realize that her real home is here, in Storybrooke.

"Of course I care," Emma whispers finally, unshed tears in her eyes. Killian swallows, knowing that she's trying to reassure him, give him hope, but it only makes things worse, because if she leaves now; he'd be left with nothing but false hope.

He'd rather have a stone cold rejection slapped in his face.

Before he can say anything, Emma glances over his shoulder and he sees her eyes widen. Swinging around, Killian see that there's a pillar of light emerging from somewhere near the docks. Before he can stop her, Emma is already running towards it.

It's coming from the barn, where Zelena had planned to open her time portal.

And now the portal's open.

When they near the barn, Killian grabs Emma's hand, trying to urge her to get away. Emma insists that they need to find a way to close it.

"Do you have your magic back?" Killian snaps.

"No."

"Then we're not bloody well messing with any of this! Let's go!"

But before they can escape, the doors of the barn fly open and the magic from the portal starts to suck them in. Killian manages to get a good grip by digging his hook into the ground, but Emma is dangerously close to falling into the portal, clinging onto his hand.

"Hold on!" He calls, but in that moment, Emma's grip slips and she falls headlong into the portal.

Killian looks down into the swirling vortex in disbelief and groans. _Bloody hell._

"One of these days I'm gonna stop chasing this woman."

Even as he speaks the words, he knows they're lies. He'll never stop chasing her and he'll never stop loving her.

Killian lets go and falls into the portal with her.

* * *

 

Out of all the situations Emma has gotten herself into over the years, this might be the craziest and the worst one yet.

First she and Killian fall into a freaking time portal and end up roughly three decades in the past. As if that isn't bad enough, Emma accidentally interrupts her parents meeting, so now she's in danger of disappearing from existence. Thankfully, Rumplestilkskin seems happy to help them get home if it means securing his own future, but as for making sure Emma's parents meet, they're on their own.

Fortunately, Killian has come up with a plan, but Emma is extremely dubious about it. Distracting Killian's past self while present!Killian sneaks onto the Jolly Roger and sets up a meeting with Snow so she can go steal Charming's wedding ring thus keeping the timeline intact, seems incredibly risky to her. What if past!Killian remembers her in the future? There are about a hundred different ways this situation could go wrong.

"Don't worry," Killian tries to reassure her, as they sit in the tavern and discreetly watch his past self, who's surrounded by his crew and a bunch of women as they play at dice. "Given what I'm drinking tonight, there'll be little chance of me remembering this in the morning. Just make sure that I…. _he_ , remains occupied and doesn't return to my ship. I'll take care of the rest."

"Okay," Emma sighs and begins to shrug off her cloak. At least she can get this heavy things off…Enchanted Forest clothes are _terrible_. She really misses her good old jeans and leather jacket.

Just as she begins to loosen her corset, Killian turns to her again and reels in shock. "Wait, wait, _wait_!" His voice goes slightly high pitched at the last word. Emma looks up and has to bite back a grin at the way he struggles to keep his eyes on her face, the tips of his ears reddening. "What are you doing?!"

"Making sure he stays _occupied_ ," Emma says with faux innocence and leans forward, a smile pulling at her lips. "Shouldn't be too difficult, you and I both know, I'm _his_ type."

She gets up and Killian does too, quickly. "Wait, Swan-the man sitting there, you don't know him. Just be careful."

Emma's smile widens at his words. Oh, this is _rich_. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're jealous," She teases. He scowls blackly at this and quickly exits the tavern.

An almost predatory smirk on her face, Emma brushes her hair behind her ears and strides over to the table confidently and slams her palms down on the wood as she speaks. "What are you boys playing?"

Hook looks up at her, and she sees his eyes go impossibly wide as he reels slightly, staring at her like she's the most stunning thing he's ever laid his eyes on. Emma feels her cheeks flush and her smile falter at the expression on his face. She can't understand why he's looking at her like that, like…like he's completely enamored with her. It makes no sense, because he's just laid eyes on her, so _why_?

It takes him a few more seconds, but then Hook shoos the women away as he invites Emma to a more secluded spot. The other women look disappointed but leave when he tells them to, not without shooting malicious glares at Emma, though. Emma feels victorious at this, not able to hold back her smug smile. She doesn't want to see any other women climbing all over him, even if he isn't _her_ Killian.

"Well then," Hook murmurs, accepting the drink that Emma offers him. "What's your name, lass?"

_Going straight in for the kill, huh?_ Emma thinks wryly. Not bothering to think up a code name, she simply smiles flirtatiously. "I think I'll keep that a secret for now, Captain."

Hook raises his eyebrows. "So I'm not allowed to know the name of my own soulmate, then?" His words are teasing, and suddenly Emma can't _breathe_ as she stares at him disbelief. He did not just say that. He did not just say that she's his soulmate. Nope, no way. She must have misheard.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Emma tries to play coy and Hook chuckles with a shake of his head.

"Playing hard to get, are we?"

_Oh, God_. Emma struggled to keep the gob smacked look off her face. He genuinely believes that she's his soulmate. But why-

The realization comes to her in a flash and Emma's breath is taken away by the weight of it.

She's in the past. Roughly _three decades_ in the past. At this moment, she hasn't even been born. She hasn't met Hook.

_This is their first meeting_.

Which means she was wrong all along.

_They are soulmates_.

"Well, if you won't tell me your name," Hook's voice breaks her out of her thoughts. "At least tell me something else about yourself, love."

Emma tries to get her thoughts together. She has to keep it together, she has to remember the mission. She needs to keep him distracted. There's no time to think about soulmates.

(She's also a little surprised at how genuine his question is. He really _does_ want to know about her.)

(And the way he calls her _love_ is so familiar and yet so different at the same time. It's rather heartbreaking.)

"What do you want to know?" Emma asks. Hook looks contemplative for a moment.

"Do you live in Misthaven?"

"Yes," Emma lies automatically.

"Have you travelled much?" Hook prods. Emma's brow creases in confusion at his question.

"No, not really,"

"That's a pity," Hook leans in closer and Emma feels her breath hitch. "A lass such as yourself shouldn't be caged up like this. You should be travelling the realms."

"Is that an invitation?" Emma raises her eyebrows and Hook smiles.

"I don't know, do you want it to be?"

A little stunned that he's just met her and is already entertaining thoughts of inviting her into his ship, into his life, Emma distracts herself by filling his cup again. _What about your revenge on Rumplestilkskin?_ The question is on the tip of her tongue, but she bites it back, not wanting him to get suspicious.

When they down their drinks in unison, Emma just manages to hold back a cough at how strong the alcohol is. _Damn_. She'd better not have anymore she wants to make it through the night sober. "I have a confession to make."

"Most women do," Hook says with a cocky smirk and Emma resists the urge to roll her eyes in affection.

"I want to know how you got the hook," She gently tugs at his left arm, almost expecting him to flinch like he's done before when she's touched his brace. But he simply watches her in interest as she runs her fingers over the hook. And Emma realizes with a jolt, that this isn't _her_ Killian, he doesn't care about her opinion like his future self does.

"You hear so many stories.." Emma murmurs, a seductive smile on her face as she glances up at him. Hook sways into her space, lips almost brushing hers when he speaks.

"So, you know who I am, but you haven't even told me your name yet."

Emma pulls away and goes to pour him another drink. "What fun would that be?"

"Just two ships passing in the night, then?" Hook questions with a wave of his hand. This time, it's Emma's turn to move closer.

"Passing _closely_ , I hope…" She whispers the words, enjoying the way his eyes darken with desire and promise.

"Speaking of ships," Hook says finally and she's disappointed when he draws away slightly. "What do you say we leave this place….and I'll show you mine?"

He makes to get up, but Emma places a hand on his thigh and urges him to sit. "Wait," She says, knowing that Killian won't be done speaking to Snow yet. "How about a few drinks first?" He's willing enough, accepting the cup she offers him.

"So then, Captain," Emma says once he's taken another swig of the rum. "I'm sure a pirate such as yourself has a lot of _fascinating_ stories to tell….."

"I do have a few," Hook says. "Would you like to hear one?"

At Emma's nod, he launches into a tale, something about hidden treasure, a sea serpent and vengeful mermaids. Emma is barely listening, more entranced by the movement of his lips and his gestures and how he chuckles at a particularly amusing part of his story. He may not be her Killian, but they both have the same flair for storytelling.

Hook stops suddenly in the middle of his tale and grins at her. "I believe that you're not paying attention at all, love," He says lowly, his grin only widening when Emma's cheeks flush visibly. "Something distract you?"

"Well, you can't blame a girl for enjoying the view, _Captain_ ," Emma retorts flippantly, trying to cover her embarrassment at his observation.

Hook growls lowly at her words and before she can even blink, he swoops in and captures her lips with his own. Emma sinks into the kiss, one hand going to rest at the back of his neck. It's not unlike their kiss in Neverland, only he's the one who holds the control here. His mouth is slick and hot against hers and he nips at her bottom lip gently until she moans softly against him.

(No matter the timeline, Hook is a damn good kisser.)

Emma breaks the kiss reluctantly, knowing she could probably do this all day, but also not wanting to put on a free show for the other patrons of the tavern. Hook smirks at her and Emma wants to _punch_ him, because she knows what she must look like, face and neck red and lips kiss-swollen.

Damn him. Damn him and his stupidly good kissing skills.

She is quick to pour them another round and when he downs his, she quickly tosses her drink over her shoulder.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're trying to get me drunk," Hook accuses her, but without any real heat, his mouth curving into a smile. Emma bites back a snort, she's not _trying_ anything, he's already drunk.

"What's wrong, Captain?" She asks, trying to keep the laughter out of her voice. "Can't hold your rum?"

"Not only can I _hold_ it," Hook boops her nose at the last word and Emma resists the urge to break out into girlish giggles. For someone who just kissed the hell out of her minutes ago, he can be surprising adorable while drunk. "I can also carry it out of the door." Emma's amusement instantly vanishes.

Damnit! She doesn't even know if Killian is done yet!

Hook rises, swaying slightly on his feet. "Come back with me for a nightcap…or shall I find someone else?"

Emma struggles for a moment. She _has_ to go with him, in case Killian isn't finished yet so she can warn him ahead of time. And it would seem suspicious if she didn't, seeing as they had spent more than an hour together already, shared drinks and one very long kiss.

And there is no way in hell she's going to see him walk away with some other woman.

A nightcap it is, then.

* * *

 

Killian sighs in relief once Snow exits the captain's quarters, off to procure David's wedding ring like he told her to. He glances around the cabin wistfully for a minute, knowing that this is probably the last he'll see of his ship ever again. He won't regret giving it up for Emma, though. She's worth it, he knows.

Then suddenly there are footsteps and to Killian's horror, Emma is climbing down the steps into the cabin. They stand there for a moment, gazing at each other in dismay.

"What are you doing here?" Emma demands.

"I could ask the same of you!" Killian snaps. "I thought I told you to keep him occupied!"

"I am!"

"By taking him back to my ship?"

" _His_ ship!"

Killian pauses and resists the urge to roll his eyes. "You know what I mean."

"I stalled as long as I could, I thought you'd be gone by now," Emma glances up at the hatch nervously. "I'll try to keep him above deck so you can get out of here."

Before Killian can reply, his past self is already climbing down the ladder. Quickly, he ducks under a table and seethes silently when Emma greets the other him with a smile.

"I do hope you're not having second thoughts," The other him murmurs and Emma shakes her head.

"No, I just got tired of waiting," Emma grabs him by the lapels of his coat and kisses him, much to Killian's chagrin.

As the pair sway further into the cabin, Killian hurries past until he's at the foot of the ladder and glares furiously at his past self. The bloody fool is intoxicated and is treating Emma with less courtesy than she deserves. And what the bloody hell does Emma think she's doing, kissing him? They have a mission to focus on, how does she plan on getting out of this situation.

Emma lets out a breathless laugh when they part, grabbing him by the coat again, and Killian grits his teeth when the other him leans in again. "My apologies," He purrs. "A woman as beautiful as you deserves my _full and prompt attention_ ….."

Killian can't take any more of it. Tapping his past self on the shoulder, he relishes the stunned look on his face for a moment, before punching him square across the jaw. His other self crashes to the ground, knocked unconscious.

"Are you kidding me?!" Emma hisses. "How is _that_ not gonna have consequences?!"

"He was asking for it," Killian snaps, still infuriated by how taken Emma was by his past self. A rational voice at the back of head tells him that he's being unreasonable, that it's only himself, but he really doesn't care. "And like I said, he'll blame the rum. Now let's get out of here."

* * *

 

They manage to get off the ship with little trouble and have only made it halfway through the woods towards King Midas' castle when Emma stops him with a tug on his arm.

"What is it now, Swan?" Killian asks, and then winces at the sharpness in his voice. Emma glares at him.

"Watch it, buddy," She warns. "What's with you, anyway? There's no need to be so annoyed!"

Killian sighs. "Apologies for my rudeness, Swan," He mutters and she seems somewhat mollified by his words. "What were you going to say?"

Emma lets go of his hand and tucks a piece of hair behind her ear, a nervous tick he's come to recognize. "About tonight, there's something I need to tell you-"

Killian is alarmed instantly. "Oh, Gods, Swan. Was it _him_? Did he do anything?"

"What?" Emma is momentarily confused and then looks indignant. "No! He was a perfect gentleman." _The way he was kissing you wasn't very gentlemanly,_ Killian thinks darkly but wisely doesn't say it. "It's something else."

Emma glances away, fiddling with her gloves. Killian waits patiently.

"He told me something," Emma begins finally. "The other you, I mean. He told me-" She looks up at him and he can see that her ears are turning pink. "He said we're soulmates." She says quickly and Killian is very still for a moment, unable to comprehend what she just said.

Slowly, he shakes his head. "Swan, that's not possible."

"Isn't it?" Emma counters. "Look, he seemed to genuinely believe what he was saying. I know he wasn't lying."

Killian stares at her and then realization washes over him. "We travelled back in time," He says haltingly. "And when I woke up the next morning, I couldn't remember anything and felt like I had been punched in the face…." It all made sense. For him, it had been their first meeting, but it wasn't for her, because she _had already met him_. "Bloody hell, Emma," His voice raises slightly as joy and excitement. "Bloody hell, Emma, it was _you_!"

"Yeah," Emma breathes and laughs shortly, sweeping a hand over her face. "Damn, we're such _idiots_."

"I second that," Killian quips and then pauses, looking at her, waiting for the moment when she realizes what this means, when she decides to run and push him away again.

It never comes.

Emma simply laughs again. "Here I thought that was just another proof of me being unlovable," She says the words lightly, like it's a joke, but Killian feels white-hot anger course through his veins, anger at anyone who made her feel that way, anger at anyone who let her down, who broke her heart and made her feel like she was unwanted.

"You're not unlovable, Emma," Killian says lowly and her gaze snaps to meet his when he steps closer and tenderly swipes his knuckles against her cheeks, fire lighting under his skin at the simple touch. "You have _always_ been loved."

He doesn't say the words, knowing she's not ready to hear them yet, knowing _he's_ not ready to say them yet, but they hang between them all the same, clear as day. Emma stares at him, her green eyes going a little wide, her cheeks flushing.

"The ball," She says, and her voice is breathless and Killian thinks her heart must be racing just as fast as his. "We-we need to-"

"In a moment," Killian agrees. "But there's something I need to do, first."

"Wha-"

Killian dives and kisses her deeply. Emma's words dissolve into a moan at the back of her throat and her arms lock around his neck as she returns the kiss in equal fervor. Killian backs her into a tree, tilting his head for better access. Her lips are soft and pliant against his, tasting of cinnamon and vanilla, like a long forgotten memory.

They part reluctantly, clinging to each other as they try to calm themselves. Emma's breaths are harsh and rushed against his own and Killian feels like his heart is about to burst out of his chest.

"You know," Emma says finally, leaning against the tree. "That's the second time you've caught me off guard tonight."

Her words throw him for a loop. "Second?" He scowls blackly at the insinuation that his past self might have kissed her more than once but Emma is already laughing, tugging on his hand as she leads him away.

"Come on, pirate, we've got a ball to get to."

* * *

 

Emma feels like a princess.

Okay, technically, she _is_ a princess, being the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming and all that; but tonight, dancing at King Midas' ball with Killian (who looks damn good dressed as a prince-though she still prefers the pirate outfit.), wearing a beautiful crimson ball gown, her hair pulled up into an elegant bun, she feels like an honest to goodness Disney princess.

_Prince Charles and Princess Leia_ , she tells King Midas when he asks for their names. Emma wants to chuckle at the remembrance, knowing she'll laugh over it with Henry when they get home.

Killian is a surprisingly good dancer and leads her around the ballroom with seemingly effortless grace. Emma isn't all that bad, but still keeps her feet fixed on her feet as she tries to keep up with the steps of the waltz. When she glances up at Killian, her breath is taken away by the look in his eyes. He's gazing at her like she's something precious, like she's something to be treasured and adored. She's seen the same look in David and Mary Margaret's faces, but they're her parents. It's what they do. Killian, though, he has no reason to look at her like that. But he does anyway.

(Dancing in his arms, she feels safe and warm and _loved_.)

When he calls her a princess, she laughs a little incredulously. _I told you so_ is a bit of a low blow at this point but he simply smiles good naturedly.

"I believe what I'm trying to say, Your Highness, is that you appear to be a natural."

Emma can't help her answering smile then.

(Damn, she's fallen _hard_.)

The music is beautiful, his smile is dazzling and the colors are brighter than ever.

* * *

 

When the Evil Queen executes Snow White, the latter's body going up in a blaze of flames, all Killian and Emma can do is watch on helplessly. Killian hears Emma let out a little, broken sob as her hand goes up to cover her mouth. He immediately draws her close to him, allowing her to bury her face in his shoulder and simply holds her, a quiet sign of comfort.

And then the thought occurs to him, that if Snow is dying that means Emma will disappear from existence, too. Killian clutches her tighter then, shutting his eyes tightly, his body trembling because _no_ , he can't lose her, not her, not now, he can't _ever_ lose her-

* * *

 

And when they find out that Snow is alive, Emma flings her arms around her in joy, almost sobbing in relief. But her mother stiffens in her arms and pulls away abruptly and Emma feels _numb_ when she watches her walk away.

There had been no smiles, nor had Snow hugged her back nor any of the motherly love Emma was so used to seeing in her face. There was _nothing_ and Emma can feel the tears come back with the realization that she had been doing the exact same thing to her parents back in Storybrooke. She had been so caught up in her own fears and insecurities that she hadn't even noticed that they were hurting, too.

Because they never wanted to give her up, because they _loved her_ -

And then Killian is there, gently speaking words of comfort as he wipes her tears away tenderly. Emma smiles up at him, glad that she has him, glad that he loves her, glad that _she loves him_.

They sit down, curled up under a tree together, and when Killian slides his arm over her shoulders, she doesn't resist, nor does she pull away when he kisses the top of her head.

(She loves him.)

* * *

 

Killian has always hated magic.

Magic was what enchanted the _Jewel of the Realm_ and allowed it to fly to Neverland for the first time, which inevitably led to Liam's death. Magic was what allowed Rumplestilkskin to rip out Milah's heart and crush it before Killian's very eyes.

Magic has always been the bane of his existence.

Then Emma Swan happened.

He watched, on the banks of Lake Nostos, as Cora plunged her hand into Emma's chest and had felt an indescribable fear rush through him, which made no sense, because they were enemies, had double crossed each other and she just bested him in a sword fight.

And then Emma's entire body took on a kind of unearthly glow and Cora was blasted away, Emma's heart remaining protected.

Killian had never seen anything like it, and it _dazzled_ him.

Then in Dark Hollow, when the shadow had him pinned to the wall, ripping his own shadow out and he heard Emma scream his name, there was a sudden pulse of magic rippling through the cave and he didn't have to see the flame of the candle flickering to know it was her.

He fell in love with Emma and along with her, her magic because it was every bit as beautiful and magnificent and amazing as she was.

All other kinds of magic had repulsed him, be it the Dark One's or the Evil Queen's, but Emma's left him _breathless_.

And now Killian is angry, because he _knows_ Emma has her magic back, but she won't accept it, won't believe in herself, won't even try to make it work.

"I think not having magic makes it a hell lot easier for you to run back to New York and pretend to be someone else," Her eyes widen at his words but he won't stop, because she needs to hear this, because she needs to start facing facts, she needs to _stop running_.

And then she talks about wanting to stop running and he can see the tears in her eyes when she mentions her parents, how they saw her but didn't _really_ see her because they had no idea who she was, how she misses them. How Henry didn't bring her back to break a curse, he brought her home. And Killian smiles, smiles because he's glad that she's finally beginning to accept Storybrooke as her home, finally wants to be with her family.

And then he glances down, and his smile widens when he sees the wand in her hand glowing with the force of her light magic. _Beautiful_.

"What?" Emma asks, and she's smiling, too.

Killian nods at the wand and she raises it slowly, her eyes widening in shock. And then with a wave of her hand, she's opened the portal that will take them back to their timeline.

"Let's go home," Emma says and Killian thinks, _You are my home._

* * *

 

The first thing Emma does when they're back is run to her parents and Henry and hug them, apologizing for wanting to leave and telling them that she's going to stay.

"I'm home," Emma whispers and they pull her closer, half crying and half laughing.

And then they're sitting at a booth and Henry is teasing her about Princess Leia, just as she expected it. Everything is so lovely and _normal_ , and she and Killian are somehow in the storybook.

Emma looks down at the page for what must be the hundredth time, not able to help the soft smile that steals across her face at the illustration of her and Killian dancing together at King Midas's ball. It's not just that the artwork is beautiful, it is, but their expressions have been captured so perfectly, it doesn't seem real.

When she finally manages to tear her eyes away from the storybook, Henry is staring at her, a contemplative look in his eyes. "What is it, kid?"

"You really like him, don't you?" Henry's question makes Emma choke, and she desperately looks to her parents for help. David has his arms crosses as he waits expectantly for her answer and Mary Margaret is smiling that knowing smile again.

_Damnit_.

"Uh…"

"It's okay if you do, you know," Henry says, making Emma raise her eyebrows. "I mean, Killian's pretty cool and you're different around him, I can tell."

"Different how?" Emma manages to get out and Henry grins.

"You smile a lot when you're with him," He says simply and before Emma can think about how _damn_ observant her kid is, he's already asking another question. "Is he your soulmate?"

Emma thinks of what Killian's past self had revealed, thinks of the way Killian kissed her in the light of her confession, thinks of the way her world spun and lit up the minute she laid eyes on him and smiles. "Yes," She murmurs, not hearing David's startled yelp and Henry exclaim in delight. "And I'm his, too."

Mary Margaret's eyes widen. "But I thought-"

"It's a long story," Emma says quickly. "And I have to-"

She trails off, not knowing what to say. She has to see him. He's not in the diner for some reason, but she'll probably find him outside, nursing his rum or something. She needs to see him, because….

_Home isn't complete without him._

Much to her surprise, David is the one who nods in understanding. "Go ahead," He says softly.

With a mumbled thanks and a quick kiss to Henry's forehead, Emma hurries out of the diner and instantly sees Killian sitting at one of the outside tables. She sits down beside him, enjoying his little half-surprised, half-pleased smile as they strike up conversation.

"He was right," Killian says to Emma's wondering whether Rumplestilkskin spoke the truth about the timeline going back to normal. "Otherwise, I'd have remembered that damn bar wench I kissed. " He's grinning mischievously at her and Emma smirks back and asks what would that have proved.

"I know how you kiss," He says slyly, making her heart flutter wildly. "I'd have gone after her."

And she can't help the blush that appears on her face either, knowing he speaks the truth, knowing that in whatever timeline or realm, he will always find her. It's a given fact, at this point.

He calls her a hero, and she is quick to return the sentiment, biting her lip in amusement when he looks almost bashful at her praise.

"I wanted to thank you, Killian," She says and he looks up, a strange kind of softness in his eyes when she says his name. It's not the first time Emma has called him that, but this time, when she says it, it's _different_ and they both know it.

And when she asks him how he got to her, Killian seems reluctant to share the story but tells her anyway. When he mentions the magic bean, she frowns in confusion.

"Those are not easy to come by," She remarks and he smiles almost ruefully in response.

"They are, if you've got something of value to trade."

"And what was that?" Emma asks, laughter in her voice, thinking more along the lines of gold and rum and women and….whatever it is that pirates like. But then he looks up at her, a painfully fake smile on his face when he speaks.

"Why, the Jolly Roger, of course."

Emma stares at him. Suddenly, everything is quiet, the music and voices from the diner fade away, the people walking up and down the sidewalk seem to disappear all together, suddenly it's just them, just the two of them, in the whole world, and-

"You traded your ship for me?" Her voice is barely a whisper.

The smile is gone from his face now and there's something vulnerable in his eyes and voice when he replies. "Aye."

And this time, when Emma leans in to kiss him, she can also pin point the exact moment she's accepted her feelings, the exact moment she's decided to allow herself to simply _love_ him and be loved in return.

He is hesitant at first but soon reaches up to cradle the back of head as he kisses her back, tenderly, softly, _lovingly_. Emma has no idea-no idea how long they sit there, just exchanging slow, languid kisses in the cold night. She's already kissed him before, she knows how he kisses but this is something else entirely. This feels more real than anything else and makes her feel warm to the core and she's never felt this kind of warmth before, not with anyone else. It's just _him_.

And then he pulls away and she chases his lips but he stops her, cupping her chin gently. Emma opens her eyes and gazes at him, feeling almost dizzy as the colors brighten even more and the blue of his eyes draws her in, dazzling her. Her lips curve into a smile and she rests her forehead against his. Killian smiles too, and leans in to kiss her again.

_I love you_ , the words hang unspoken between them. Neither is ready to say it yet, to open up their hearts completely, to get hurt.

But that's okay.

Because they have the rest of their lives ahead of them and the colors will always be there, reminding them and adding brightness and hues to their lives when they need hope, when they are in despair, they will always be there to remind them that they are loved and they have nothing to fear.

_The lost girl and the lost boy found a home._

… _they found each other._

**-FIN-**


End file.
